Myself (20F) and 9 of my friends decided to join a co-ed soccer league this spring. The price per team is $1100 to join, so each of us must spend $110 to form a team. I volunteered to collect everyone’s money, since no one else wanted to. The deadline to pay was on Feb 5th, so a week beforehand, I reminded everyone to pay me as I needed to e-transfer the league. By Feb 4th, everyone but 1 person (20M, "Liam") had paid. Liam has a reputation for not paying people back when they 1. lend him money or 2. pay for him to do something. It was nearing midnight (sorry for the Cinderella-esque story), and everyone was stressing about him not paying me in time. I called Liam and texted him repeatedly, but got no response. Everyone berated me for not just spending the extra $110 so our team could play. Liam still owes me $80 from the summer, and I am not made of money. I said I was absolutely not going to use my own money, and my friend, "Ashton" (20M), kept guilt-tripping me as if it were my responsibility, saying it "wasn’t a big deal to spend my own money". I told him that if it wasn’t a big deal, then he could pay. He, of course, argued against this plan but inevitably sent me the money. He then texted me privately that I was a bad friend for making him do that and that I should trust that Liam would pay me back.
Liam still hasn’t paid Ashton back. An extra $110 is a lot for a full-time student, money I need for school. I spent the $110 I was required to pay to join the team. Why should I be expected to spend the extra $110 as if it’s nothing? Or was I being a bad friend?
**So, AITA for not using my own money to form a team?**
NTA.
Extra NTA points for insisting that your “friend” who asserted that it wasn’t a big deal front the money.
Thank you!!
Bad friend? That’s fucked
Nice to hear that he was wrong to say that, thanks!
oooh, NTA!
Ashton thinks you’re a bad friend?!? Nope,
1. Liam is of course an AH who knows that people will pay for him if they want something he’s attached to, so he never intends to pay.
2. Honestly, the group should know this by now and not include him in anything that requires payment from him. “Sorry, Liam, we know you aren’t going to pay your own way, so we aren’t going to count you in.”
3. Ashton wanted the soccer team to happen. But he wanted you, not him, to eat the cost of covering Liam. He knew that Ashton is unlikely to pay him back. The only reason he paid was because he was going to have no soccer team if SOMEONE didn’t pay for Liam. That’s why he worked so hard to guilt-you in to paying for Liam. When you talk to Ashton, tell him that you saw how eager he was to dump the cost on you while he had ready excuses to not do what he wanted you to do. Instead of perpetuating Liam’s mooch mentality, everyone should stop including Liam in plans that cost money.
Thanks for your comment! When my friend and I decided to join a co-ed league in the spring, we realised we’d have to split the teams into 2, since it’s 7v7 rather than the standard 11v11, and a lot of our friends would want to play. I asked him if he could take Liam, as Liam is much more likely to be respectful towards my friend than me. Liam and I don’t get along; I don’t put up with his BS, so I knew this issue would come up. My friend didn’t want Liam on the team because he knew he’d have to deal with it. I have told my friends to stop enabling Liam’s disrespectful behaviour, but I swear they think he’s God. I have told Liam to his face that I think he’s disrespectful and takes advantage of all of us, but he doesn’t care. He’s an exhausting person to deal with.
Find someone else to take Liam’s spot and have that person pay your other friend. NTA