So 2 weeks ago, I had a small birthday party for my daughter. My brother brought his gf and she brought her daughter.
After the party winded down my daughter just wanted to be alone so she chilled out in our bedroom. My brothers gf daughter well call her D was still here so we let her play in our daughters room. She ripped so many things off the walls and trashed her toys (found out AFTER they left) and I guess she got bored and came in the living room.
All of my daughters new toys she was taking turns just throwing them and she broke a few. We all kept taking turns telling her to cut the shit and she would listen but just go to the next thing.
Me and my husband have NEVER had to ban a kid from our home but we did and now my brother isn’t responding to me anymore. I know he really likes this girl and I actually love them together but her kid…
AITA for just straight up saying she can’t come back instead of leaving room for a conversation?
EDIT: kids are 6yo. We were all sober. This is just all from ignorance, I assumed my brother wouldn’t bring a kid like that to my house and I don’t have a ton of experience so unfortunately this was how I learned. Thanks for the advice and feedback everyone. This has been exhausting to read and reply to but appreciate all the ESH.
NTA – your daughter is more important than anyone else.
Okay, NTA for banning someone from your house if they can’t respect it.
However, the real problem is the parent of the child, not just the child. If someone destroys someone else’s stuff they are responsible for replacing it, and this child’s parent didn’t do so. It doesn’t matter if your brother likes her, she let her child destroy your child’s property and did not replace it. She and her child are a problem, and your brother is an asshole for turning a blind eye to this problem, just as she and her child are.
INFO: how old are these kids?
Also, you said you found out after they left, but also said you were taking turns telling her to stop?
Yes, this post doesn’t make sense.
If anything, YTA. It seems like, if this really happened, OP just watched this kid destroy all of her daughter’s things with a mild “hey, stop doing that,” as she broke more and more stuff.
That’s 100% on OP. Kid breaks 1 thing, she’s not allowed to access those things. You take her out of the room, lock the door, or otherwise prevent her from breaking stuff.
Not “telling her to cut the shit out” and watch as you do nothing.
NTA but why don’t you remove her from your daughter’s room as soon as she started throwing things?
I said we saw after idk if that was clear in the post. I didn’t hear anything, I thought she was just in there playing or watching tv. After they left, we went to organize the new clothes she got and tidy up and saw the damage. And in the room as far as I can tell she just ripped stuff off her walls. She has glow in the dark stickers and she loves hot wheels and has her tracks set up to windows and stuff and those are just completely fucked.
I’m confused? You didn’t know she was breaking things until after they left but you all took turns telling her not to break things. If you caught it happening once, she should not have been left unsupervised. This is on all of you adults.
The girl was in the daughter’s room first where no one knew she was destroying things. Then she apparently ran out of things to destroy or got bored or something and came out to the living room where she continued to destroy things in full view of people. They were not aware of the destruction in daughter’s room until after the girl left their home.
NTA I don’t even really blame the kid, what was the gf and your brother even doing while her daughter was wreaking havoc in someone else’s house??
This post doesn’t make sense. Why was your daughter chilling in your room and not her own?
How did you only find out that she destroyed the
stuff after they left BUT ALSO were taking turns telling her to stop? If you left the kid alone in the room… why? Even better behaved kids can break things without meaning to.
if you were watching her throw the toys why didn’t someone stop her? Clearly telling her wasn’t working
How old are these kids? Why would you leave a strange kid, unsupervised, in your daughter’s room?
So you left a strange kid unsupervised in your daughter’s room and, when faced with evidence of her destruction, just told her to stop and didn’t actually stop her. Every adult here is a failure. ESH.
ESH – You left an unknown child, alone, in your daughter’s room while your daughter hung out elsewhere.
Why was no one supervising this child? It’s your house. You have a responsibility to make sure the people in your house are safe and acting appropriately, and are safe.
Why was NO ADULT checking in on this child?? “I didn’t know they were a terror.” – Yeah, so you pay attention to the child. It’s literally ONE CHILD, not like you had 50 to check in on.