My (35f) boyfriend (40m) moved into an apartment together in June 2025. Since then, he hasn’t paid rent on time once due to financial struggles and losing 75% of his clientele in May of 2025. He keeps paying *extremely* late, with now it going into the following month. For example, he is finally paying for January’s rent ***today***.
Our property manager has been patient and kind working with us, but the lack of communication on his end is driving me insane, causing us immense stress in our relationship and I can’t take it any longer. We have been threatened with an eviction every month.
They are willing to work with us and as long as Feb & March can be paid, they will allow us to cut the lease early and leave end of March. He is complaining to me that he doesn’t have the funds to move (as it is expensive: security deposit, first months, moving costs, etc…) and is in a bind…and will essentially have to live out of a hotel or his car.
**AITA for still wanting to end the lease in March?** A part of me feels guilty that he won’t have a place but at the same time, he hasn’t been honest about his finances and has made the last 9 months here really difficult and stressful to say the least.
as has been said on this sub multiple times before: “don’t set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm”
NTA
NTA. From the way things are going, it’s a fair likelihood that you’ll be paying the entirety of the rent when he finally stops completely.
He’s showing you who he actually is and if you don’t want to live the rest of your life in this kind of financial turmoil, maybe rethink living together or possibly the whole relationship altogether.
I keep wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I also feel like he got way too comfortable with staying optimistic “hoping” things would improve without actually putting the work behind it.
Learning to not stay with someone’s potential, but rather who they are.
Ya…that’s definitely a trap. [Sunk Cost Fallacy.](https://youtube.com/shorts/puq3H3j6n98?si=bIvyDSyV0i_oGLbm)
Edit to add NTA.
You are doimg your fair share of payments. Time to drop him. He’s not financially responsible.
More Info Needed: How are finances split? Do you pay rent as well and if he is paying directly to the rent manager how are you paying your portion?
There’s a lot of info missing here.
How are you splitting the rent? Are you having to cover his share now? Is he trying to get you to cover his share now?
If he lost his clientele in May, why would he continue to move in with you in June, knowing his financial situation had changed? Was he trying to live off of you?
Assuming you lived on your own and were able to pay your own bills prior to moving in with him, I would resume that original arrangement. Let him get himself back on track. But don’t make that your problem.
We agreed to split everything 50/50 upon moving in. He didn’t tell me the extent of his financial situation till a few months into us living here, so I feel blindsided. Resentment is building, and communication is really tough from him due to his admission of embarrassment and shame.
I’ve already loaned him a couple thousand to cover his portion for a month, but I fear doing that any longer because I doubt I’ll ever see it back…
While I don’t know the guy, I feel like he tricked you into moving in with him as a means of lowering his expenses. And even then, he still can’t keep up with what he owes.
Normally I’m the type of person who says don’t do anything drastic on a whim. But in this case, I wonder how long you should stay with him and continue to pay his bills. As you said, you won’t get your money back.
At some point, you have to decide if the relationship is worth it. That really is the only question. And whatever your decision is, you don’t need to feel guilty about it.
Find your own place and break things off. It’s not working.
NtA. Run as far and fast as you can. Leave the anchor in his car.
Your landlord has been way more patient and understanding than most. Move out ASAP and let your (hopefully son ex-) boyfriend figure his situation out for himself. NTA
End the lease. He figured out how to house himself for 20 years before he met you, he’ll figure it out again. Do not move into another place with him!! Set him free to find the next woman to house him.
NTA.
He lost 75% of his clients in May. Still moved inn with you in June. Was dishonest for moths. Had zero savings and I don’t see him taking on a second job to increase his income. Yeah. Time to live alone.
At 35, you should not be putting up with men, especially at 40, who do not have their financial shit together.
At the end of March, split up for the better.
NTA.