I (26F) have just had my 4th baby 5weeks ago. I became severely unwell with mastitis and became septic and ended up in hospital on IV fluids and antibiotics for 48hrs. My partner (26m) asked if he could go fishing when I get home, the 48hrs would be up in the evening and he would go when I got home. He said he would take the 3 older kids and I would just have the baby at home. I’ve been away from my partner and 3 kids for days and have missed them and still do not feel 100%. He said he’s worked hard all week and needs some downtime, time to do something he enjoys. It’s also our daughter’s birthday party the next day that I have to organise. So AITA for not wanting him to go fishing, and instead help me and spend time with me after being in hospital for 3 days?
NTA.
This man isn’t even trying to pretend he cares lol
You had a baby, ended up with a horrible situation postpartum and HE needs time off? Girlfriend, please…
Respectfully, stop having kids with this dude and leave him.
And this is kid #4? Every damn week is going to be a rough week. Kids are nuts.
That isn’t just “being sick” that is a life threatening medical emergency, and you are only 5 weeks postpartum. The fact that his immediate reaction to you surviving a hospital stay is “Great, she’s back, now I can go fishing” is actual insanity.
This is unacceptable imo, he should have stayed with you even if you haven’t just recently given birth if you have just been hospitalized
This is not going to end well. Dude needs to step up, man up, help with the birthday party, help you, and forget about himself and his need for down time for the next year. When you can get some you time, he can have some him time. 🤔🚩NTA
He “needs some downtime.” Does he realize that you literally could have died?
Yes, but she was just laying around in a hospital bed while almost dying and he had to parent his children!
Ummm….this is highly inappropriate for your husband to do. I can tell he’s never been septic. It’s going to take your body weeks to recover…and that’s IF you were healthy before. The fact that you’re recovering from having a baby tells me that it will only complicate things.
He should be home helping you prep for the party. He should be the one doing 80%+ of the work. It sounds more like you’re a married single mom.
NTA. You’re just being discharged from the hospital. Cancel your doing anything, including arranging your kid’s birthday party; tell him that it’s up to him to make it happen; and tell her that “mommy is still not well enough to do this.” If he goes fishing, check into an all day spa that provides child care for your infant. You need some “me time” too.
NTA. Sepsis and mastitis can be fatal and just because you are out of the hospital does not mean you have completely recovered. He is a father first, his downtime can wait.
I would also move your daughter’s birthday party to a later date, your health comes first. Maybe invite your family or in laws over to help and to shed light on what a useless and unreliable husband you have. Once you have recovered, a wake up call conversation would be a good idea.
NTA
You gave birth 5 weeks ago, and **you ended up septic**? And he is not bending over backwards to coddle you like a god damn Faberge egg for a few days? But instead going fishing?
Who is he planning is nearby you if you need help? If you start to show symptoms again, but you instinctively ignore it cause you have a infant to care for? Has he gotten any information from health care professionals about how serious this actually is? If you have spotted a older, mildly grumpy, but kind nurse or doctor around, feel free to mention this to them. I used to work in health care, and would gladly chew him out a bit, and I suspect most of the people I worked with would.
Oh so HE’S had a hard week? Please.
NTA-this man thinks he needs time off after you just carried and birthed his 4th child and had a medical emergency?? That is wild.
Your partner is a massive selfish asshole. Please stop having children with this man.
NTA… except… kinda to yourself for accepting this crap from a man you have had 4 children with. This is likely not a singular incident and more so shows a pattern… which I hope you can see for what it is.