I (28 M) was helping clean my best friends (25 F) apartment. As she was having a friend come to visit And had run out of time to clean before having to leave to pick up her friend from the airport.
In the process of me cleaning I knocked over her stack of books, on her bedside table. Which included a planner, a Bible, a book she was reading, and her diary. Not thinking much of it reached down to pick them up, And in the process of picking up all of the books, I saw my name. Sort of involuntarily I read the line that it was one and it said "I wish OP wasn’t with me for Christmas eve"
Christmas is very special to me, as I am estranged from my abusive parents and haven’t celebrated a Christmas with a family in 5 years. And I had been very prescriptive that I did not want to attend Christmas unless it was an enthusiastic yes.
In addition, my friend and I had a situationship for a few months until she met a Christian guy who she had dropped me for. This happened in mid-november, and we had been having difficult conversations about how I had felt used and neglected seeing she transitioned from making out and cuddling with me, while keeping it all secret from her friends to fawning over this other guy and telling me nothing could ever happen between us, In the span of 2 days.
We had just gotten back to a place where we were friends again, and things felt good. And now I’m feeling incredibly betrayed, and now I’m questioning every other time that I’ve let her promises sway my gut feeling. Knowing that my gut feeling was likely right all this time.
So reddit. I’m now writing this while shaking, Am I the asshole for holding her accountable and ending the friendship after accidentally breaching her privacy and trust? And why didn’t I read more, how do I stop needing to know what else she put in there?
Edit: for those in the comments, roasting me about invading her privacy and lying. I understand that it is highly skeptical story and I would too be skeptical. For what it’s worth, if I was to intentionally invade her privacy, I sure as hell wouldn’t have gone to Christmas… Nor would I have stopped at just that entry. There’s a lot of other more important dates, both recently and in the past that I would have much rather gone to.
YTA for reading the diary but doesn’t matter. Get the hell out of there.
You just happened to know over some books and her diary opened to something about you?
YTA imo. Diaries are private places where we can write down things like intrusive thoughts that we may not truly feel. You shouldn’t hold that against her, especially if your friendship is fine otherwise.
YTA for reading her diary.
Nobody believes that you just happen to knock it over, coincidentally see your name, to justify you reading your supposed friend’s personal property.
YTA for reading her diary.
What was written in it is entirely beside the point.
YTA for reading another persons diary.
But based on your history I think it is best to distance you from that friend. You will not trust her again, and you betrayed her trust – this will dangle above you
ESH. YTA for snooping through someone’s diary without their permission (I don’t buy that the diary coincidentally opened to a page with your name). Your friend is an AH as well since it sounds like she is using you. I would just distance yourself from this situationship since they rarely turn out well.
“And the book just HAPPENED to fall to that ONE PAGE that had MY name it!! I totally didn’t open it and read it! It wasnt an invasion if privacy I swear!”
YTA for reading her diary.
You can end a relationship for and reason at any time and it doesnt make you an AH. What DOES make you an AH is you sound needy AF and one of those “nice guys”
YTA you “accidentally dropped her diary, it accidentally opened to a page you’re mentioned on and you read it om accident” sure.
Pure invasion of her privacy
Yta. That’s private and you violated her trust in a major way. That’s not what someone with integrity and character does.
YTA – Yes, I am SURE that you “randomly” knocked over an entire stack of books while cleaning, and one of them just “HAPPENED” to fall open to a page that SPECIFICALLY mentions you.
You snooped. You violated her privacy. And now you sniveling on Reddit trying to justify what you did.
YTA
FAFO, you nosy AH
YTA and a liar. You snooped and you’re mad so you made up a whole story. I’d be ending the friendship with you.
As a women who has kept a diary pretty regularly for most of my life, I completely believe that while cleaning the books feel, the page opened and you saw your name. And with the way brains work you read the sentence. If you’d actually snooped and read the diary there would be more juicy things to use as your reasons to ask your question.
So here is my advice, talk with your friend. Fess up to the accidentally reading of one sentence and that it’s making you question things. Have a real deep talk with friend about it, when both of you are able to have the time to talk it out properly. Don’t end the friendship because of one sentence. But use it to dig into the relationship deeper. Maybe this means you need to set firmer boundaries with this friend. Tell them you’d rather they are honest about wanting you to join them at events or whatever instead of letting you come just because whatever reasons they have.
So all in all I’m going to say NAH although if in the end your friend has been using you and lying to you then they are the problem