January 2025, I told my daughter that I didn’t want her to dye her hair. 1. Bc she’s still too young. 2. The cost to maintain it will be a lot especially when I’m already maintaining her gelX manicure every 6 weeks.
She got her father involved and I expressed those two things. So he asked his wife for her thoughts and she informed my ex that maintaining it doesn’t cost a lot. So I told my ex, that I will only cover her hair cut and I will not help in anyway on my daughter dying or maintaining her hair dying.
My daughter re-touched her hair July 2025. Her father didn’t reach out to let me know. Which is fine, I’m not paying for it and he didn’t care about my thoughts on why I don’t want her to get it.
Now, my daughter wants highlights, the cost is $170. My ex reached out and asked me if I can help. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. And reminded him of our convo back in Jan 2025. AITA?? Should I help? I want to stand firm but I am also feeling a bit bad, like I’m not helping and a cr@ppy parent.
Edit on the nails: I’m a co-parent. I cannot control what my ex does. I am trying to maintain a decent relationship so I do my part and help with maintaining her nails. I am trying to put my foot down but feeling myself crack just like her nail problem.
Nope, NTA, you’re being generous by even covering her nails. Things like hair dye and gel manicures are luxuries, not requirements. I’m in my early 30s and still do my own color because it’s just so expensive.
If your daughter wants luxury hair care and nails, she should start getting a part time job to cover it.
Not sure how old she is, but if she has gell nails every 6 weeks and getting her hair dyed/streaked, seems like she should be old enough to get a part time job to pay for these things. NTA
She’s 13
Holy crap. Quit with the nails.
This! She is turning high maintenance and everybody else is paying for it!
INFO: so she’s not old enough to dye her hair but she’s old enough to get gel-x on a routine basis?
Right? This is where I am hung up. That argument makes zero sense. Sounds like daughter is 13. When my friends and I were that age (in the early 90s lol) we just bought boxed hair dye and pulled our hair through a cap or did our own foil highlights. It was fun and messy and was much cheaper than an actual salon.
NTA, your daughter can dye (or bleach highlights into) her hair in the sink like the rest of us did when we were her age lol. $170 for a dye job is for adult people who have fancy jobs where they have to look nice, not teenage people
Exactly. I read the whole thing saying, “Where’s the quick blue and box of splat??” 🤣🤣
Manic panic was my go to back in the day
A teenager who wants gel nails and hair appointments should be paying for them herself.
You and your ex are not doing her any favors.
NTA
If your teen daughter wants highlights, then your teen daughter needs to get a job.
My mom always allowed me to dye my hair as a teen which i always appreciated, but it was always done at home for like $15. Hair is temporary and is an important part of self expression, but that doesnt mean youre responsible for paying for it to be done professionally. Sounds like if she wants her hair to look a certain way without her getting a job to pay for it she needs to learn how to work on that at home
Why are you even paying for gel nails for a teen? That is ridiculous. People today are nuts with all this fake crap.
Edit: You’re kind of an AH for indulging the nails. but not for refusing the hair.