Okay, bad title and it might not seem as bad as the top posts are. But I need ask someone about this. (Tw: bad english. My third language >w<)
So I was home for this semester break from college. I’ve been home for almost three months now, and haven’t hung out with my parents at all. Like, haven’t properly went out and just chill with them at all. And to defend myself first, no, it’s not because I didn’t ask them or I didn’t take initiative. They work and have a pretty busy schedule.
I have an older brother, around 24 now (I’m 20f) and he lives 9 hours away. Literally in the other side of the island (archipelago country. Bonus points if you can guess where I live). He didn’t come home this break because he was working on his thesis.
Moving on, to what happened today. I asked my parents to hang out since it’s Valentines day. They said okay but asked to let them go to a family event before we go. Mind you, this family event wasn’t even important. It was just a "us cousins hanging out in one cousin’s house yippie!) Type event. So I asked them to reconsider since I’m going back to my university literally tomorrow. Like the 15th of February 2026 tomorrow. They said they’ll have time, I said fine, and I stayed home when they left.
I did everything. Chores, cooked, fed the dog, basically everything that’ll prevent them from bailing. But then when they got home, they simply said thanks for doing the chores and went to their bedroom. So then I thought, okay. Maybe they’re tired. So I let them nap for an hour, almost two. And when they woke up, I asked them for the hang out, valentine dinner they promised. And they said we’ll do it next time. LIKE BRO WDYM NEXT TIME??
So I said it’s fine. And then, out of nowhere, they said they were gonna visit my brother. Visit my BROTHER after I WENT BACK TO UNI. So I snapped. I said what’s on my mind, albeit with a higher tone and with some tears, but I basically snapped. Then they get angrier with me, said I’ve basically hung out with them since Christmas.
So now I feel bad and is in my room crying. I know the lashing out part is bad, but I think my reason and reaction was valid. I know this is such a petty pose. Wdyt? Am I the ass here?
INFO: When you said you cooked, did you actually cook the Valentine’s dinner that you wanted them to hang out for?
NTA – While ‘screaming’ might have been a bit much, the fact remains that they told you that they’d have time, and all you were asking was for them to have dinner with you (which people do \*anyways\*) and be present in the moment (i.e., all of you giving some priority to being together and connecting.)
Telling you that they were going to make a 9 hour trip out of their way to see your brother was just that final straw.
There’s a song by Harry Chapin that comes to mind. The lyrics explain how a man spends all his time putting off his son’s attempts to spend time with him for ‘good’ reasons, only to end up with his grown son being too busy to spend time with his father later on. ‘Cat’s in the Cradle’
Oh! Cooked, as in their meal prep for the week since my mom tend to do it on the weekends. Sorry for not clarifying in the post
NTA. It’s not really about Valentine’s Day, it’s about feeling like you’re not being prioritized. You’re leaving tomorrow and just wanted one intentional moment with them, and they postponed it twice. That hurts.
Snapping probably wasn’t ideal, but you were emotional and that’s understandable. I think the bigger issue here is communication. Maybe when things cool down, you could explain that it’s not about one dinner — it’s about wanting to feel important before you leave.
NTA id be rlly pissed off aswell
Nta you waited for them and made the effort. Seems like brother is favorite