I (F22) have been with my bf (M23) for 2 years now and about a year ago he moved out of his parents and didnt have a lot, since I moved out of my parents at the ripe age of 16 I fortunately had many things I could lend him and, including silverware, a microwave, pans and pots, etc and even gifting him a wok and washing machine.
After he got a little more settled I started asking for stuff back, things I now needed and he would just say "I thought you gave them to me, I told my family they were gifts". I clarified that was his fault since I made it clear I would need some stuff back at certain point. He gave back what "he could" but kept some other things and even acted like some of the things I asked back were his to begin with or were gifted by other people "not remembering" it was me.
The story has repeated it self multiple times with more things like clothes when he comes over he then takes weeks even MONTHS of me asking to give me my clothes back, acting again like those things are automatically gifts even if its my favorite shirt, sweaters or jeans. I couldnt take this anymore since Ive been asking for my favorite jeans back for weeks and he just "forgot" what they look like, that he ever took them and then said he had already given them back to not even 5min later of finally looking for them he found them. I told him I would not let him lend anything else anymore becaude he is not responsible enough to give it back or sometimes even take proper care of these items.
AITA for not being more understanding or maybe letting him keep the stuff? I dont want to fight or seem selfish or like he cant have anything but it feels so unfair ive worked for the things i have for someone to come and claum them as theirs specially when you wanted to help them to start with
Gaslighting is never good.
NTA, but respect yourself a little and don’t be a doormat. This dude is just walking all over you and taking your stuff