I (26M) have been close friends with this person for about 9 years. We’ve lived together before, been through a lot, and I considered them one of my best friends.
This whole situation started over something small (a game download), but it turned into something bigger because of communication.
I asked them a question before doing something. They didn’t respond. Because they didn’t answer, I didn’t move forward. Later they acted upset that I didn’t do it, and I explained that the issue wasn’t the game, it was that I felt ignored.
From there, things escalated. I tried to explain how I felt multiple times. Their responses felt like blame-shifting to me, focusing on how I worded things instead of acknowledging that they didn’t respond. At one point they kind of acknowledged they could have responded, but it came with a “but,” which made it not really feel like a real apology.
After that, they went silent for about 3 weeks. No real response, no accountability, nothing, even after I sent a pretty vulnerable message explaining how I felt disrespected and more like an acquaintance than a close friend.
Eventually they replied saying they needed time, they weren’t mad, and they still wanted to be my friend, but they didn’t really address the specific issue or apologize directly for the ignoring. It felt more like “I needed peace” rather than acknowledging my feelings.
I responded explaining that disagreements are normal in friendships, but what isn’t normal to me is one person pushing blame or avoiding accountability. I also said I’m not a “yes” friend who just agrees to keep the peace.
Now it feels like they’re framing this as us just having disagreements, while I feel like the core issue of being ignored never really got acknowledged.
I don’t expect perfect communication, but I do expect basic respect and accountability between close friends. At this point, I don’t feel the same anymore, even if the friendship continues.
AITA for not just moving on and for pushing back instead of acting like everything is fine?
Your feelings are not wrong as such but you’ve expressed your POV, you can’t force your friend to behave the way YOU want them to, so maybe this is a good time for you to distance yourself and let them make contact with you from now on if they feel the need to see you or talk to you. Friendships come and go, people change, priorities change. If someone is not interested in making a relationship work, then maybe it’s run its course. NTA