I 30 F am using a throw away and well you know why. But I have a neice she is 20 F we shall call Sam, for a little back story Sam moved out of home at 16 with boyfriend and after a few years they broke up. Her Mothers home was full and I was hesitant at first due to some personality clashes between myself and Sam. So before she moved in I made us both what I called a formal informal agreement so she understood what was expected of her but it was also what was expected of me. Breaking down the house hold expectations how to organise guest how long it’s ok for a guest to stay for example. and when it’s appropriate to make loud noise and when it isn’t simple stuff. But it was written down for both her and I to keep us both accountable,and if a disagreement did come up we could revisit this and communicate.
Once she had secured a stable income and was contributing financially to the home in my eyes she was a roommate. She was treated as a young adult she was in charge of her budgeting She managed her life around her work, she Learned to do grocery’s for herself she took care of her personal laundry she was a fully self sufficient human. That once she would move on from here I had the confidents she would thrive as an independent adult.
Sam’s mum had been looking for a new rental on the market sparked an idea.
After Kim and Sam talked and planned said she was going to move into the new place with her Mum (42F) her step (47M)dad and her two younger siblings(MF8). I instantly expressed concern as her and her mum clash regularly. Look I’m down playing it will be an absolute sht show so she she left her job her friends her safe space her cat to move 45min away $50 cheaper a FN. But here we are 3 weeks later and Iv received my first msg saying I think iv made a huge mistake! And it’s exactly what I expected.
If you were living with someone as a room mate. Not family just genuinely someone random. They do not have the right to pressure you expect things from you that are beyond the fundamentals of the house.
Her mum Kim and Step Dad Kam have been on Sam’s case about getting a job the moment she stepped in the door.
She has no voice in the house no say on anything.
She sleeps 3pm some days
Who,what,when,where,Why when she leaves
Then the guilt trips about how Kim had to give up her office space to give Sam a room. When KIM practically begged her to move in. Because they genuinely needed her to cover the rent.
I want to talk to my sister about the situation however I’m public enemy number 1 in that house hold. But Ido think they need to adjust their behaviour to her and honestly STFU and just let her get on with it, but coming from me I’m apparently bias and I’m enabler. So PLEASE JUDGE ME ALMIGHTY JUDGES of reddit . AITAH for planning an intervention to fight for my nieces rights in the room she rents
YTA
She’s an adult. Or, according to you, you made her an adult. She made the choice to quit her job and move there.
What type of behavior do you think an entire family of 4 is going to change? I doubt Sam is being the perfect “roommate” to her parents and sibling. And she doesn’t have a job.
Get away from the situation. Sam is not a good decision maker. Ran away from home ar 16 to live with a boyfriend. Abandoned a cat. Quit a job that was stable and now just sleeping all day.
You view Sam as a pet project.