For the past two months we’ve been dog watching some elderly dogs for my in-laws while they’re traveling, and keep the back porch light on so they can see when they go outside at night to use the bathroom since they’re both a bit blind. For context we live in a rural midwest town of \~1k people, with mostly older folks and a few middle aged families.
Last night my neighbor (a quarter acre behind us) flashed a very bright strobe light into our windows around 9pm. My husband went out to talk to them and my neighbor justified flashing the light because he wanted to get our attention and “never sees us”, when I’m home all day (working from home) and am outside with the dogs often. He then went on that he “moved out here to get away from lights” and “couldn’t see the stars anymore”. The dude was clearly drunk, and frustrated. My husband sympathized with him and turned the light off for the night, but he was clearly annoyed about the strobe light. There’s street lamps down both of our streets on the front side of the house, so while I understand that our light is annoying, it’s not like it’s pitch black outside.
However to our neighbors credit, a different neighbor’s (located to the side of us) daughter also came over asking us to keep them off a few weeks ago, because she was visiting her mom and she had mentioned that she didn’t like seeing the lights on. We’ve made an effort to turn it off around 8pm each night, but sometimes we let the dogs out right before bed and will forget to turn it off. My husband and I are considering changing the fixture to be recessed so it doesn’t shine as much, but we’re both dumbfounded that we’ve had two neighbors bring it up.
Some additional context- a few weeks ago the cops were at our house due to a neighbor thinking we were using a heat lamp in the garage to grow weed (it’s for one of the dogs that insists on being outside a lot). The light is tilted down and covered by a shelter. It leaves a slight red tint that isn’t visible unless you’re halfway up the driveway, or by the garage windows. We showed the officer the garage and he was pretty understanding/said it isn’t bright and shouldn’t be an issue.
We’re one of the only young couples in town who own a home (mid-20’s, no children) and are quiet people. We go to bed around 9pm and tend to stay inside unless we’re working on the yard. I thought about trying to talk to both neighbors and offering to buy them blackout curtains to help with the light or to at least go over and explain the situation, but my husband (who is from the area) thinks it’ll only make things more tense. We feel bad and want to help make our neighbors comfortable, but we also need the light sometimes for the dogs and for ourselves (I’m very uncoordinated) if we’re out with them at night.
Here is a [picture](https://imgur.com/a/VKVffdk) of the two porch lights turned on, I’ll add another photo of them once it’s dark out.
AITA for leaving the porch lights on?
So this is exactly why I moved back to Cali from the Midwest because people in this region of the USA are all self absorbed like this. But NTA ignore them and don’t even entertain their requests
NTA — Not by a mile. What the actual fuck.
I thought you had put strong bright white led lighting and I was siding with the neighbors, but after seeing the pictures, they are being ridiculous.
The street light right in front of my bedroom window is brighter than this. I need to sleep in the dark, so I put blackout curtains.
If you want your porch lit, you can do so as long as you are not shining it in your neighbours window, like the ass hole did
These people have too much time on their hands complaining about this
Yeah, same here. I was thinking two people asked them about their lights so they’ve got to have some super bright light that’s making everything glow and they would be the A H.
But no! There’s no way these lights are putting off enough to disturb the neighbors unless the neighbors are TRYING to be disturbed. Like those porch lights are probably softly illuminating their porch and adding to overall background lights but that’s living in a society. If they actually don’t want to experience other peoples’ lights, these neighbors need to move somewhere where they don’t have neighbors.
They have a lot of nerve. NTA OP!
NTA leave the lights on. Those are already shielded. The neighbors are being completely ridiculous.
NTA. I always leave my lights on at night. They deter burglers
You can by motion detector bulbs. They turn off automatically after a short time. Those neighbors are either really wierd or need a hobby.
Those lights look dim as hell. Your neighbors feel insanely entitled. If they don’t like the light on then they need to close their curtains, like what??? NTA. If they keep bothering you tell them you heard their concerns but you think their request is unreasonable. If that man comes onto your property again, tell him he will be trespassed and be sure to follow through if he continues to harass you. The audacity of people.
NTA
If people want to live somewhere they don’t see any lights, they should move somewhere with acreage.
People have lights on outside for all kinds of reasons (dogs, people arriving home late, safety).
If they have issues with lights, they can buy some curtains or blinds.
Bless their hearts.
There’s a huge difference between a porch light which is, from your photo, oriented to point down and not super bright, and directing a strobe light straight into someone’s house. You are NTA, your neighbours need to get a life.
But, to keep the peace, can you get a motion sensor light instead? So it’s only on when you need it?
NTA they’re being ridiculous and trying to push you around. That kind of porch light is shitty i works but is not bright what they’re saying makes no sense. If they come up to you again about red light; Ask them why they are coming onto your property as u can only see it from those positions
Put up a motion censor light so it will turn on when the dogs go outside and turn off when there is no movement. You can find motion lights that are easy to install and you can leave the porch light off.
It’s not a matter of being an AH but two neighbors have expressed their displeasure and they’re is an easy compromise.
NTA.
These neighbors sound…intense. What I actually want to say would go astray of the sub rules.
Flashing a strobe light into your windows at night?! Calling the cops because they think you’re growing weed in your garage?!
Like, these people need hobbies and perhaps to also move out into the actual country with no one around.
Those lights are NOT bright.
If you can’t find motion lights that work for you, you could try a smart bulb like Philips Hue that you can set on a timer in an app – we use these in our house and they work great.
But ultimately, you’re not doing anything wrong here by having dim lights on your porch at night. These people are unreasonable.