I (f19) got in a big argument with my mom about going to college and it ended with us screaming at each other and I ended up telling her “fuck you for trying to control my life”. Yesterday morning I got a text from her (we text probably once a month) saying to come home and we need to talk. Earlier today she sat me down and told me that if I don’t go back to college (recently dropped out because I was working while in school to pay for it and it was too much on my mental health) that she would kick me out. I basically said you’re ruining my life (not quite as nicely) and she told me to find a new place to stay by the end of this week. I’m now at a friends house and I’m stressed tf out someone tell me AITA or was I right for standing up for myself??
Well, I do not blame your mom. I would have done the same thing if you cussed me out. She is doing something that most parents are not able to do these days. Tough love. You wanted to drop out of school, so now you have to start being an adult and deal with adult responsibilities.
OP wants to be a big girl but doesn’t have the means to be a big girl.
She just learned an important lesson of being an adult.
YTA. You are an adult now. Your mom doesn’t need to tolerate you being abusive. If you think it’s better for your mental health to not be in school working towards a degree, go work and provide for yourself. This is what you wanted. But without the safety net that you shat upon.
Never bite the hand.
I hope you have good income. When the friends start charging you rent, you’d better be able to pay it.
At 19, you’re not a child anymore. Time to support yourself.
You’re totally welcome to make the best decisions for you, and be an adult. Your mom is also able to no longer provide free lodging for someone who cussed her out and didn’t seem to have any gratitude. Adult decisions…
You’re an adult and living under her roof. Her ultimatum to go back to school or get out is reasonable. You can’t just expect to stay there while doing nothing all day. You want to act like a grown up, welcome to actually being one. YTA.
She’s helping you. If you don’t want her controlling your life, don’t let her. Move out and be an adult.
You cussed out someone in their own damn house. No real surprise there are consequences.
YTA
YTA grow up. Get your own place if you’re so tough.
Well, now she won’t be controlling your life, so you’re getting what you want. I feel for you, but no one wants to be cussed out in their own house. Are you still working? Were you paying your mom even token rent? I think you’re about to find out that maybe things weren’t so bad, which is why you’re stressed. So, yeah, YTA. But, this may work out for the best! You may find your calling without your mom to fall back on. Good luck!
Sorry you have to go through mental troubles, but you have to pick and choose your battles. You are in fact an adult, but you are also living with your parent(s) in the end. You also cannot be throwing tantrums like that. Yes it sucks that parents can be overbearing (me living with my parents well into my 20s), but you cannot handle conflicts like that. You are 19, not 12.
Edit: YTA
Your mum has your best interest at heart. I don’t agree with her kicking you out but you are a grown adult now. You cant sit on your butt and use mental health as an excuse not to work or to study. Millions of people work while struggling with this. Its called being an adult and trust me. It gets tougher
YTA. If you manage to grow up, you will look back on what you did here with great embarrassment.
The situation you’re in sucks and I sympathize with you, but YTA.
When you became and adult, she didn’t have to let you live with her anymore, so every day since then, you’ve been accepting her help, whether that was spoken or thought of that way or not. It’s just a fact of your situation. Because of this, she’s allowed to set the terms when you’re accepting something from her, and you are allowed to reject what she’s offering if you’re unwilling to meet those terms.
She set the condition of you going to college. Maybe the answer for you was always no, but with a little self control, I don’t think the deadline to move would have been this week. You could have had more time to figure things out and maybe move. You were in a tough spot, and you hurt yourself instead of helping yourself.
Do I think the deadline of the end of this week is harsh? Yeah, but then again, you haven’t been screaming in my face that I’m trying to control your life.
YTA.
You’re 19, living in your mom’s house rent-free, and dropped out without a plan. I get mental health struggles but screaming and saying “fuck you for trying to control my life” isn’t standing up for yourself, it’s just disrespectful when she’s trying to push you toward independence.
Take a breath and figure out concrete steps for your life like school, work, or therapy. Respect her house rules while you figure things out, because in the real world you sometimes have to do things you don’t like to move forward.