First of all, English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
So my friend and I have been thinking about this for a while now, so we decided to turn to reddit. In short, me and my friend, who we’ll call F, had planned to go out for brunch on a certain date. Turns out, a couple of days before our previously scheduled brunch, our friends wanted to hang out ON THAT SAME DAY. I said no, since I already had plans with F, which they didn´t take well, arguing that we were going to see each other anyway if we decided to go with them. It was slighty annoying, as it wasn´t about seeing her or not, but spending time with her and her only after not being able to meet for months.
I decided to just ignore it, only to find out the next day that all of our friends were mad at us, the hang out was called off, and it seemed to be our fault. It is really difficult for us to be all avaible on the same day, since we all work long shifts, so I understand if they were annoyed that we were using that free time between me and F instead of the whole group. Still, I don’t see why insulting us and getting mad is logical, since, after all, we had plans before they did. I could’ve been with F as much as I could’ve been with the Queen of England, and I still wouldn’t have canceled because the plans WERE ALREADY MADE, and I think it’s rude to cancel on someone either way, so that’s why I think I’m not the asshole. I appreciate your help and opinions.
NAH. Unless they were really rude/mean in the insults, them being upset that their friends would rather do a splinter hang purely on principle is logically offputting. Its not the Queen of England, its our mutual friends, why can’t we adjust and be together?
Now, if you rather be in a splinter, by all means but their chagrin is logical.
Yeah they were pretty mean, but about the fact that I wouldn’t cancel plans I already had. I hadn’t said that I would be with F at first, and they were upset anyway. Plus, I had spent more time with them than I had with F, it’s not like I had been ignoring them for months and replaced them with someone else.
PD: What does chagrin mean?
Just feeling shitty/slighted.
And yea, def they would feel slighted to learn the plan you can’t move is with a mutual.
nta
What a bunch of children. 🙄
Yeah, you should have adjusted your plans since these were mutual friends and you can rarely all get together. You could have rescheduled the brunch with F. It doesn’t matter that you still see them a lot. The important thing is having everyone available at the same time is rare. I can see why they were upset. That’s like saying “we’re not going to the family picnic because we already planned a mother/daughter get together.” It would be completely different if F weren’t also part of the group and would also be there.
NTA. Sometimes I have just enough energy to do a one-on-one catch up with one friend and not a whole ass group hangout, and that’s fine. Also, it’s important to maintain individual friendships within a bigger group. I don’t understand why your friends turned it into such a serious issue, to the point of being mean to you. Immature IMO.