I (27F) left my marketing job about six months ago to work at a small local bakery. I make less money now, but I’m happier. Last weekend we had dinner at my parents’ house for my mom’s birthday. At some point my sister (30F) started making comments about my job. She joked about my bakery budget and said she doesn’t get why I left a stable career to play with frosting. People laughed awkwardly, and I tried to ignore it at first. After a few more comments, I told her I didn’t appreciate it. She said I was being too sensitive and that she was just joking. I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to sit there feeling like the punchline all night, so I left early after telling my mom happy birthday. Later my mom said I should’ve stayed and not let it ruin the evening. My sister texted saying I overreacted. Now I’m wondering if I made it about me on a day that was supposed to be about my mom. AITA for leaving instead of just letting it go?
NTA. She wasn’t joking. She was being a bully.
Your mom should be messaging her asking why she bullied you all night on her birthday… not harassing you. I’d tell her so to.
NTA. Next time she tells you she’s “just jokingL your response should be “can you tell me what the joke is? Because I don’t find what you’re saying funny.” If your mom gives you grief you need to ask why she’s focusing on how you’re feeling instead of asking her other daughter to act like an adult. You are being pushed around because your family sees you as easier to bully. Their behaviour isn’t coming from a place of love. In the case of your sister, I’d guess she’s jealous that you’ve chose your own path and found fulfillment while she struggles with life.
NTA If someone is being disrespectful and you ask them to cease and they do not, you, by all means have every right to depart.
NTA honestly the rest of the guests and especially your mom should have told her to stop making fun of you especially after you told your sister you didn’t like it your mom needs to step up and protect her kid who’s being bullied by your own sister
NTA, There’s a difference between a light joke and repeatedly turning someone into the punchline
Quietly excusing yourself from a situation where you’re being made the butt of jokes you don’t appreciate is not making it all about you. You’re showing people how you want to be treated, which is your right as an adult. If your mom and sister don’t like you leaving, they can stop picking at you when you ask them to. NTA.
NTA, You didn’t make it about you, she did when she kept turning your job into a joke, You spoke up once and then removed yourself instead of escalating it.
NTA: unfortunately your sister is unhappy that you are happy. Finding a job that you enjoy is something most people want. You leaving is understandable, because in this day and age, family disputes or discussions don’t always end well. Bravo to you, hold your head high because no one can feel or understand you better than you. Unfortunately sometimes family members can be worse than a stranger.
My family is like that. My sisters would bully me until I was literally crying and then tell me that I was too sensitive. I have a job that I adore and that brings me a lot of contentment, but that doesn’t live up to their standards. For years now, we make it about an hour into any family gathering before they start asking questions about what I’m doing, what’s next, am I back in school, they heard about this thing that they just know I’d be really good at, so I should really look into it. They never ask if I’m happy. It doesn’t occur to them that that’s even possible.
A couple of years ago, I was telling them about an accomplishment of my stepdaughter. The first thing said was “Well that’s okay, because she can always do ______ in the future.” I finally put my foot down for my kid, when I should have done it for myself years ago.
Remind your mom that if she didn’t want the evening ruined, she should have shut down your sister’s comments. Remind her that her job as a parent is to protect her children and not let them grow up to be assholes and that night she failed both of y’all. I’d tell her that if peace was so important to her that night, she would have stopped the child that was creating the problem, instead of blaming the child that protected herself when no one else in her family would. NTA.
Your mother should have stood up for you. Full stop
NTA. You shouldn’t have to sit there while your sister berates you about your life choices. What matters is that you’re happy with your decisions. However I think you should go and take your mom out for coffee or lunch to make up for having to leave her birthday dinner.
When someone is rude and claims, they’re just joking ask them to explain the joke
NTA
Maybe your mom should tell your sister to stfu instead of telling you to stay and take all she wants to say. Some people don’t know when to stop “joking”. What you choose to do with your life is not her business.