When I was a freshman (15F) I had a crush on a guy (Luke) who was in an on-and-off relationship with his girlfriend (Sophia). I respected their relationship and didn’t act on it, but when they were “off,” I vented in a group chat with two friends (Jake and Chelsea) about being annoyed that they kept going on and off. When I said that, Chelsea sent a picture of Luke and Sophia in the class she had with them and they were just close and hugging. I said it looked awkward out of frustration. Then, a while after, I found out Jake (who I didn’t realize was close with Sophia) told her what I said. She got upset, blocked me on and off, and has disliked me ever since. I never got the chance to apologize. I’m a pretty shy and not very confrontational person, I preferred doing it over text.
Fast forward now, at my quinceañera, a few days before sophomore year started. My quince was not open invite, but Sophia showed up without being invited. Jake asked if she could come in, she didn’t have the GUTS to ask and I said still yes to be polite and as a “peace offering” to this whole mess. I even offered her a thank-you gift like everyone else, but she refused it. She didn’t speak to me. Her friends did though, she seems nice. Since then, she’s continued to avoid me, declined my follow request,and I recently heard from someone that she’s telling people I made stickers of her and that I bullied her which I absolutely did not do. All I’ve done is what you’ve heard and talk in an irritated manner about how difficult she’s being about this situation, but oh well, you can take a horse to the water but you can’t force the horse to drink it.
Also, Jake is still kind of in my friend group now, and he’s apologized for telling Sophia what I said back then. I forgave him, and it’s honestly not serious anymore. If anything, I joke with him about it now. But he told me at a bonfire when we were talking abt the situation that his little sister overheard me at my quinceañera saying, “Why is she here at my quince?” and told Sophia about it. He thinks that might be another reason she still doesn’t want to talk to me. So now I’m wondering if that added fuel to everything, even though I was just surprised she showed up uninvited.
Luke and Sophia are no longer together. I have an amazing and loving boyfriend now and don’t care about Luke. I just don’t understand why she still seems to hate me, and I want to talk it out, but she won’t engage.
AITA for wanting to clear the air?
She got mad at you got saying “why is she at my quincenera” when she showed up without being invited? How did she even know where/when it was?
Honestly, it sounds like Jake is a shit stirrer and invited her to see what would happen, and is telling her things to cause drama. It’s dumb and immature but you guys are really young. I would avoid talking about her with him in the future.
The audacity of OP to say she didn’t have the guts to ask if she could join the party after OP didn’t have “the guts” to apologize face to face.
Right, the “little sister” story is an obvious cover for him continuing to tell Sophia everything. OP, you’ve got some snakes in the grass. You asked if you’re TA for wanting to clear the air, and you’re definitely NTA for *wanting* to, but if she’s shown she has no interest in talking you need to let it go and would be TA to push it further. On the flip side, you don’t owe her anything, either.
It would probably be best to just not talk to Jake at all.
NTA..you should always act on your feelings. Carpe Diem is the best way to live life. If you’re rejected then fine, you know for sure the interest isn’t mutual and you move on.
No… do NOT always act on your feelings in any situation, this is easily the worst advise to give a young person… just sayin
Totally agree… I mean all the murderes and violent people beating someone up “just acted on their feelings”… not good advice.
Keep it decent and controlled, but be yourself and either they like you or they don’t. No need to pretend to be something you’re not or like someone you don’t (unless it’s at work or it’s your boss, lol. Being homeless isn’t fun).
NTA
You are trying to be nice and fix any issues she might have but she doesn’t want that which is okay as well. Cut your losses by the time you graduate this wont even matter anymore.
Jake is an asshole, so maybe rethink the people you associate with.
Ah the highschool drama. I don’t miss that. NTA. You tried to clear the air, but you also never apologized so it’s not that strange it didn’t work out. Just don’t ever tell Jake anything sensitive, because that little sister story is questionable. Some people just like to spread rumours and create chaos. Sounds like he’s one of them. Be careful.
NTA. You can’t make someone like you. The best thing to do is go on about your life and don’t talk about her anymore bc anytime you do, it gets back to her.
I mean not everyone will like you and that’s OK. Just accept you won’t be friends and more on? I wouldn’t waste my energy on trying to apologise to her or anything, you’ve never been close. What you said wasn’t even that bad, it wasn’t an insult or something like that.
And oviously she shouldn’t have shown up to your quinceañera uninvited and than not even asking herself if she can come in and keep avoiding you at your own party… and the lies are uncalled for as well. For that alone I’ll call her the AH.
NTA. But stop trying to be her friend or get her to like you etc. That’s unnecessary.
The title doesn’t really match your text, just saying. You didn’t take any pictures, it was taken by someone else and sent to you.
NTA you don’t have to be friends with her, in fact, just stay neutral and hope others don’t try to mess with your peace. Don’t be a chismosa, and live your life lol
So she got mad at you for questioning her presence at an event she wasn’t invited to??? Jake sounds like he is starting crap on purpose. How did she know when and where it was??? Jake? I would remove them both. Jake on principle of not saying things to start things. NTA