Last night I went out with a few friends (group of 5 girls all around 23 years old). Before we left, Madeline (my best friend’s friend, not super close to me) offered to be the designated driver and said she wasn’t in the mood to drink. I suggested we all just take the train into the city and split an uber back so no one felt left out if anyone wanted to drink. She was adamant that she wouldn’t feel left out and insisted on driving everyone home sfaely. I didn’t want to argue with someone volunteering as DD so I just said okay and didn’t think anything about it.
Just before midnight I noticed she’d started drinking (a couple cocktails). I didn’t say anything because I was fine splitting an uber anyway so I just enjoyed the rest of the night with the girls.
This morning she drops in the group chat that we all need to chip in for petrol + split her parking ticket/parking fees because she drove and left her car in the city. She’s asking for around $150 ($30 each). I replied that I’m not contributing since I literally suggested the train/uber option from the start and she chose to drive/drinking anyway.
Now my best friend is messaging me privately saying I’m being unfair and that evreyone should just split it because “Madeline drove us all” and it’s only $30. Sarah’s acting like I’m the asshole for refusing.
It’s not even about the $30. She pushed to be DD and wouldn’t let us take the train, then drank anyway, and now expects us to cover her costs.
I know $30 isn’t huge but the principle feels off. She volunteered to drive sober, ignored my suggestion to train/uber, drank, and now wants reimbursement like she sacrificed something. If we’d trained from the start none of this happens.
AITA for saying no?
NTA, but in the future just take the uber, not worth the fuss when your DD can’t stay sober
No, NTA. That’s so entitled. If everyone had agreed ahead, okay. But that’s not what you agreed to AND you predicted the problem (DD not actually wanting to be sober) and $30 is way more than the split of an uber to get home after taking the train. So dumb.
NTA. You already paid for your ride home, with Uber. The whole point of bringing her car into the city was to drive everyone home, and she reneged on it. I think I’d send her what I would have paid in train fare, since she did save you that cost, and that ought to more than cover your share of the petrol for the ride in.
I’ll probably think about that since I hadn’t considered that, thank you
Or offer to pay for your share of petrol there and what parking would have cost if she didn’t leave her car overnight?
NTA. Share this post and comments with your bestie. The “DD” should carry the entire charge
NTA
Ive been the DD and ive been someone who needed a DD. As a DD, you are doing in 100% voluntarily and when doing so, people are relying on you to get them home safely.
She made the choice to drink. No one forced her to. Her parking ticket is 100% on her. If yall chipped in for parking while you were at the bar and the cost of fuel for there and back, that would be sufficient.
Is she going to pay you all back the cost of the uber, then, since she reneged on the agreement for the evening?
pfft.
NTA. She’s taking the piss.
I was soooooo tempted to say that but I held back thinking it probably wasn’t the best thing to say at the time
NTA. I knew exactly where this was going at the first couple sentences in. Ive had people in my life like this before and it is frustrating. Imo, stand your ground. She shouldn’t have drank after offering to be DD, she wouldnt be in this predicament.
NTA
If you offer to be the DD then you’re the DD. You don’t get to just start drinking and expect things to just work themselves out. People were trusting her to be responsible… At least she didn’t try to insist she was fine and drive anyway.
You’re NTA. If she was going to charge everyone for fuel and parking fees, she should have been upfront about that when she insisted upon being the DD.
The parking ticket is 100% on her, even if you had agreed to split fuel and the parking fee.
Give her $2 for the gas into the city and thank her for the ride there.
NTA- she chose to leave her car in the city she can pay for the parking
NTA
This is so laughable. She demanded that you let her be the DD and then chose to drink got herself a parking ticket and wants you to pay for her irresponsibility? Absolutely in no way would I ever do that. And the friends that are taking her side are just enabling her lack of accountability.