A few years back my younger brother said he wanted “space” from me. I have been fine with that as he has had a lot going on personally. Having said that, the last time I was in town visiting the rest of our family, another family member asked if they could bring my daughter to see him. He declined. I genuinely have never taken his issue with me personally, but declining to see my daughter did affect my perception of him.
On another track, I recently became engaged and my fiancé (who my brother has never met) and I are having an engagement party. We have both invited extended family and friends. I have not invited my brother and I don’t plan to. My mother is upset and my fiancé feels like I should use the party to extend the olive branch. I don’t want my engagement to become about my brother and “will he/ won’t he???” accept the invitation and come. This is a special time for myself and my fiancé and I want to keep it that way. AITA?
I feel like there’s missing information. Why did he need space from you?
They’ve made it really clear they want nothing to do with you. So be it.
Think no more on it. Happy engagement
NTA
NTA
Special events should not be used to mend fences.
If you want to mend things with your brother, reach out to him and ask him to join you for coffee to just talk. Start from there and see how things go.
You have deliberately missed out the reason why he needed space. My guess is you’ve done something terrible if he doesn’t even want to see your daughter. That being said, you aren’t obliged to invite anyone to engagement party and therefore you are NTA for this specific question, although I suspect you are about something else.
For those not digging in the comments. OP’s brother decided to divorce his SIL seemingly out of nowhere. OP asked if brother was cheating (he was, but refused to confirm). OP said he had better be decent to his kids and soon-to-be ex-wife. Brother stopped talking to OP.
Thanks for summarizing!
Idk man my brother hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 years and it’s purely just because he’s an asshole. I recently got engaged too and I’m at the point where I also don’t want to invite him to any wedding related events because I know he will upset me whether he turns up or doesn’t turn up.
Info: why does he need space? We are missing something here
It looks like he cheated on his ex-wife (OP’s ex-SIL) before suddenly announcing he wanted a divorce and OP called him on it so he won’t talk to OP anymore.
Edit: accidentally referred to OP’s brother’s ex wife as his ex SIL, corrected for clarity
A wedding is not the time for a reunion of estranged family members. Tell your fiancé and your mother that you do not want your brother to attend, and not to invite him or bring him along. NTA.
Thank you. My mother won’t bring him, she is just sad he won’t be there.
Your mother’s sadness is for her to deal with, and not an excuse to pressure you. Ask your mum to instead focus on the joy of the event and celebrate what \*is\* happening, rather than being glum about what isn’t.
NTA Tell them you are respecting your brothers request for space, and he will reach back out when he wants to be back in touch. Since that hasn’t happened yet, you continue to respect his wishes.
I’m literately copying and pasting your response in my notes for the next time someone asks. Thank you.