I have a specific friend that really likes to put me down whenever I don’t follow what the group does.
We play a game and he goes "let’s all go the tank character, it’ll be funny!" But I’m not in the mood to do that, so I refuse.
We’re at a gathering and we take shots. I take the shot because we’re celebrating. A little later they want to take another shot, but I don’t like alcohol, so I refuse the second time.
We play a board game where it’s one versus five. Friends rotate after each game to be the Single player. I don’t like going as the Single person versus group, but friend says "everyone else did so you have to."
Once I say no to whatever is going on, he goes off by saying "you’re always such a bitch." "You never want to have fun." "You always got to ruin the vibe." etc.
There are plenty of times when I do follow because I’m down to do the quirk or I just don’t want to hear the complaint. But there are also plenty of times when I just don’t feel like doing a particular thing at the moment. I honestly don’t know if I should just always put up with it because of the vibes or it’s just too small a matter for me to refuse.
Sounds like your friend does this as a form of controlling you and the group. Draw your lines and tell him to stop being such a control freak. It’s your personal choice what is fun to you and what is not. You’re NTA, HTA.
Yeah I can understand that. Thank you!
I was kind of on your side reading through it until the board game bit.
That came across as strange and gave me an insight into what you’re probably like.
Wdym everyone takes turns to be the single player against the group, and when it’s your turn to do so, you flat out refuse because you don’t like it?
That gives me ‘im a diva’ vibes that kinda turns this whole story on it’s head.
And “lets go to that tank character, it’ll be funny!”. I wasn’t in the mood, so i refused.
It seems like you just dont like this person. NAH.
I was sort of thinking that as well, which was why I included the board game example. These small moments might be so menial that I figure I should just go with it. Although I will definitely say that I do not hate him. We’ve gotten along plenty for almost two decades. Appreciate your thoughts.
I agree with you on the ‘not being forced to take a shot’ stand. Of course don’t be a sheep in that respect just to fit in.
But the board game situation certainly is odd, ngl. It would annoy me too if you were perfectly happy with everyone being the single player against the group but the moment it was your turn, you start being difficult with it. Not fun to hang out with people like that. Also comes across very insecure because it’s just a game, and you’re willing to disrupt that and cause issues for no reason.
I guess it’s like when you’re hanging out with a group of people and someone sees a shop they want to pop into. You may not particularly like that shop, nor want to go in, but most people would happily go in with their friends. Not because they are being ‘controlled’, but because that’s what friends do. They don’t just do everything they want to do and flat out refuse when its something that they don’t care about.
Yeah, I agree to most of it as well. I would like to reiterate that I do plenty of going along with what my friends want to do. But every now and then I just rather continue what I was doing for fun.
In the case of the board game in particular, I’m wanting to give context as the board game takes up a decent chunk of time so I really didn’t want to play the single player. On top of that, I played the part before and it just wasn’t fun for me. Plus everyone was very skilled on the group side of the board game so I was going to be stomped whether I wanted to play the part or not. But I do give up the tank example as that could’ve been like 20 minutes at best.
Still, I’ll just suck it up for moments like that I suppose since refusing does more harm than fun.