For context, we’re all still in school and part of a close friend group of about five people. Everyone is 18 except me, since I skipped two years. The others have known each other slightly longer than I’ve known them, I joined the group about a year and a half ago, and they’d already been friends for around a year before that. Two of the girls have known each other since primary school, but that’s not related to the birthday girl.
Recently, the birthday girl turned 18 and had a party. I only found out about it through Instagram, I hadn’t heard anything about her planning one. From the photos, it looked like it was just family members and her twin brother, so I congratulated her in the comments.
When I saw her at school shortly after, I apologized for not getting her a gift since I hadn’t known about her birthday. She said, “Oh, that’s fine. Sorry for not inviting you, it’s just that you’re not 18.” I was a bit taken aback but didn’t show it. I said, “Oh, I thought it was just a family thing?” She kind of shrugged and said something like, “Yeah, well…” and didn’t elaborate before our other friends joined us and changed the subject.
I started wondering if everyone else in our group had been there, since they’re all 18. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Later that day, in our last class (which is pretty relaxed and we don’t do much), the birthday girl, one of our close friends, and another girl (who is less close to them than I am but is also 18) were talking right next to me. I was zoning out a bit but could still hear parts of their conversation. They were talking about how crazy the party was, saying things like, “I’ll never look at (xyz) the same after that party,” and “I had way too much to drink,” and “(xyz) had way too much to drink.” It definitely sounded like they had all been there.
I got really upset and started tearing up. I was texting my girlfriend about it. The girl from our friend group noticed and whispered something to the birthday girl, but neither of them said anything to me, which made me feel even worse. I ended up going home and crying to my girlfriend on the phone.
After talking to my girlfriend and a few other friends, they think I should say something to the birthday girl about how it made me feel. But I don’t know if I should. It was her party and her 18th birthday, and if there was drinking involved, I understand why she might not have invited me since I’m not 18. Still, I can’t help feeling really hurt that all my friends went to a party and I wasn’t even told about it.
Edit: Im not that upset about the whole non-invitation thing, I get i cant drink, its the fact thats shes whispering abt me while im crying and talking loudly about it beside me and not even telling me about the party in the first place. I think thats the part that effects me most.
Would I be wrong to bring it up to her? What should I do?