so for context I am currently studying computer science in college and my friend also studied computer science and graduated last year.
yesterday, we were hanging out in a cafe and talking about things like differences in programming languages when he mentioned that he’s never understood what do while loops do or why they exist.
i told him that they are niche but they can be useful when for example counting how many digits a number has. he said he can still use a while loop for that. i said yes, but it requires extra lines of code. he took his phone out and wrote some code to show me how you would count how many digits a number has with a while loop.
i showed him that you can remove a couple of lines of code if you use do while and told him that you can of course use a while loop but it’s one of those situations in which a do while loop is more useful.
he said that it’s just his preference and my way is more complicated and less readable. i told him he can use whatever he wants, i was just explaining why do while loops exist because that’s what he asked. he continued saying that he doesn’t understand why i need him to have the same opinion as me.
i told him it’s not an opinion, i just said it’s less lines of code and less repetitive code and that’s why people use it. he looked a bit angry and said the conversation is over. i said okay.
a few seconds later, he said "why do you always have such a big problem when someone has a different preference than you? that’s messed up". i got annoyed and said "damn i didn’t know a while loop was so important to you". he told me he’s leaving, went to the bar to pay for his drink and left.
a few hours later, i got a message from him. he told me that he was expecting me to apologize already for twisting the story and making him look like the bad guy. he said i’m twisting the story into him caring too much about while loops when in reality he’s upset because i’m saying his opinion is objectively wrong. he told me i should apologize because i made him feel like crap with my last comment.
i apologized for the last comment i made because it was kinda rude and for being too matter-of-factly and not being more understanding, but i also told him that it takes two to argue and that we both need to apologize for arguing over something so small. he said "oh my god… so it doesn’t matter how you made me feel, i’m still the bad guy and i need to apologize?". i told him that again it takes two to argue and we both could’ve handled things differently. he called me manipulative and then said "have the evening you deserve" and logged off.
i tried to sleep it off but it’s been a day and i’m still thinking about it. i think my point of view is too subjective to be able to see this objectively so that’s why i came here. so AITA for arguing with my friend over such a small thing and telling him he cares too much about while loops when that wasn’t why he was upset?
NTA: Friend is overly defensive because he thinks you’re calling him a bad coder.
>he said that it’s just his preference and my way is more complicated and less readable.
He’s wrong. This is exactly why a conditional loop exists, so that you don’t have to break out of it in a different way.
You’ve both never written any real code and it shows. Grow up and just have normal programmer arguments about tabs versus spaces or best programming OS or whether every text editor should be in vi mode.
You’re either a vim chad or a nano chud
Yeah OP, unfortunately YTA. It’s a difficult but necessary step in your personal growth, but in friendships what’s most important is connecting with people. You can be as factually right as you want, but in all reality his preference is in no way harmful to you at all. I get wanting to be right or even being right (while loops are usefully, and I also think they’re better than writing extra code), but in this case you seriously need to apologize. Your insistence on being right hurt your friend’s feelings. Do you care more about being right about while loops or your friend and his feelings? Be honest with yourself. If you value your friend, send him a message apologizing for being so insistent and for your other comments.
This is such a petty argument but you let your insistence that “two people make an argument” and your initial insistence take priority over your friend and his emotions. You have to pick your battles, this would be a really sad hill to die on.
> but in this case you seriously need to apologize.
You left out an important detail – what would the apology be for?
> Your insistence on being right hurt your friend’s feelings.
What do you mean by “insistence on being right”? That’s just the same thing as “being right”, isn’t it? It’s not like he was being argumentative in any way.
Question: Are you male or female?
If female it might explain their reaction. Either way I think his reaction is based on feeling stupid.
i’m nonbinary, but in society i am perceived as a woman. though he’s always respected my pronouns and identity
it is kinda giving he’s upset someone had a better way of doing something and he acted like a child over it instead of accepting it (again I have no idea which way was better so computer people pls don’t come for me if their way wasn’t the best🤣)
NTA, so I have 0 idea what a lot of that means, but it seems like the issue has to do with something a lot bigger than a while loop. I mean from what I know he asked a question and you answered, and then gave an example, and he took that as you saying your way is better somehow? I mean you told him it’s fine for him to use whatever he preferred but you were answering his question. in my opinion I think he wanted you to automatically agree with him and not explain why they exist and just agree that you don’t understand and he got offended that you didn’t. outside of that if he can’t understand that both of you should apologize for what was said he has a bit of maturing to do. overall NTA, it does seem like he blew it a bit out of proportion when you just answered the question he asked
You both are clearly very green. Have real computer arguments about whether or not to run Arch Linux bare metal
Since I wasn’t listening in, I can’t tell what tone was used to communicate this. But it sure sounds like your friend valued their opinion over facts, or just agreeing to disagree to keep the friendship.
You’re in school. It’s a good time to be on the lookout for better friends. It gets harder later.
YTA. You weren’t hearing him when he tried to tell you that saving like two lines of code is not so critical that anyone should start using them if they don’t already. You confused his opinion (while loops aren’t worth using over something he’s more familiar with) with a statement of fact (did you or did you not save two whole entire lines of code) and then proceeded to argue with something he didn’t even say. You also confused your opinion (a while loop is more useful) with objective fact (what’s useful depends on a lot of things.)
It might or might not take two people to have an argument, but it only takes one person to harangue someone else. Was it really worth pissing off your friend just because you had to have the last word?
How could you possibly have all this extra information that wasn’t in the post?