Before I tell what happened I must give some context. My grandmother has always given me, and members of my family expensive gifts. Gifts none of us ask for. My 16y old female cousin received a very expensive designer handbag (which she doesn’t wear), my other cousin, a boy received an expensive watch, which he neither asked for, or wears. I think she wants to buy appreciation or respect, instead of earning it through love and being a good grandmother.
I say this because today I had invited the whole family over for dinner. I had just returned from abroad and wanted to celebrate my homecoming. She shows up first, while the food is still cooking, and begins talking while I’m in the middle of preparations. She takes out an electric toothbrush of all things and hands it over to me as a gift. I have never wanted an electric toothbrush, I have never spoken about it, yet here it is. She says its far better than a regular one and that I need to start using it. Says that it cost her 120 euros, she also gives me 2 packs of those heads that you can replace when the brushes wear out. That + insurance, in case I drop the thing or damage it, which according to her was "not cheap"…
My reaction was one of shock and confusion. I told her bluntly that I do not need one, I am happy with what I have. Her reply was that it is already bought, there is no receipt, so there is nothing to be done about it anymore. She went and put it in my bedroom table and upon returning starts listing all the benefits, how much better it cleans, how important dental hygiene is, how I simply must begin using it. I am leaving the country in a weeks time so tell her that I cannot take it with me, the thing is bulky, has a charger and a stand. I simply have no purpose for it. After noticing her getting frustrated I drop the topic, she insists on its benefits and I listen in silence. Eventually the other guests arrive and the conversation shifts, but I can tell she is annoyed throughout the whole night about the fact that I did not accept her gift with open arms.
Therefor my question is, should I have feigned appreciation and thankfulness? Was my blunt reaction and honesty inappropriate? Am I the asshole
YTA. Manners. You say thank you and do what you will with the gift
YTA. You should always be appreciative of a gift. Just because she is bad at choosing appropriate gifts doesn’t make the intent less noble.
Also, electric toothbrushes are better at reducing plaque and gingivitis, so she’s correct.
that was what i came here to say. she’s totally correct saying it’s better than an old school toothbrush.
Yeah, yta. Zero reason to be rude about it.
Just take the toothbrush and give it to a friend or donate it to a shelter.
YTA. And honestly, use the electric brush, it is better for your teeth on average./
Maybe she’s trying to tell her something without actually telling her
Honestly, the dentist I had in my early 20s suggested an electric toothbrush and I got one. I’m in my 50s now and every dentist I’ve had since has told me they can tell because my teeth are in such great shape. It’s an EXCELLENT gift. You don’t get “do-over” teeth.
Yta
Electric toothbrush are better. I just don’t think you’d be happy with anything that she picked for you.
YTA. You sound ungrateful and entitled. Every thought that pops into your head does not need to come out of your mouth. It’s called polite society. Say thank you and appreciate your grandma while you can. Jeez.
YTA even if you don’t believe in her intentions, why would you treat your grandmother worse than a stranger? You wouldn’t do that to someone else who gave you a random undesired gift (i hope).
YTA. What you say when you get a gift is “Thank you.” If you don’t want it or can’t use it, give it to someone who wants it or a charity shop it or sell it. But just show appreciation at the thought. (Also, your grandmother wasn’t wrong about the advantages of an electric toothbrush.)
YTA. You could have just said thank you and the situation would be done. You sound like a brat.
Btw- electric tooth brushes are so much better for your teeth.
YTA
“Thanks grandma”
“You’re welcome dear”
Then throw it in the trash after she leaves if you don’t want it. Jeez.
YTA
And she’s right an electric toothbrush does a far better job , dentists and hygienists will agree.
Just accept the gift and know she cares
And wtf? An electric brush and charger are NOT bulky 🤦♀️