Hey everyone,
I recently started a new job in a semi-small buissines- about 2-3months ago.
However a little bit before I started a guy working a few floors below me had an accident and unfortunatelly eventually did not make it.
Now the owners of the buissiness want to have a cookout on friday in his honor and to talk about him and reminisce.
I did get invited, however I dont know if I should go. I never knew the guy and it would just feel like Im using his death as a way to get free food.
I brought this up with one of the guys organizing the event (not the owner, but someone they put in charge) and he told me I should go anyways.
I honestly dont know what to do, if I should go to connect with people because I havent made many friends here yet, or if I shouldnt because it would be disrespectufl to anyone who actually knew him or were good friends.
I don’t want to leave a bad impression for anyone that doesnt know me yet.
WIBTA if I went?
You’re a part of the company now. I think its fine if you go. Its not a family thing
go you show support.
You could talk to people about this person. Ask their favorite memories, find out who they were as a person, let people reminisce.
Or stay really quiet and leave early.
Or just don’t go. I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here.
…
(Except going for free food. Treating it like a free company lunch would be a very YTA move.)
Absolutely NTA.
You have been invited and you’ve been reassured, so go. You can still honour someone who you didn’t know 💖
Thank you, needed this. Your comment was the kind of push i needed haha
You would be fine to go, you are invited. Maybe you can ask some of your new coworkers if they have any favorite stories about the one who passed away. I think it would go a long way to show support by being there, especially if the company is small. You also can just make an appearance, stick around for an hour or so, then bounce if you feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, asking for stories is a really thoughtful way to connect. Showing up even briefly would mean a lot to the team.
NTA
This isn’t about you, it’s about showing support to your colleagues and management – just be prepared to LISTEN – “Sounds like he was a great guy, sorry I never got the chance to meet him, tell me about him?” kind of conversations. You don’t have to stay for the whole event, just show for an hour or two to ‘pay respects’.
Yeah, Im kinda hoping for that, Im very introverted so the more they talk the better haha
Any version of this is the only good advice – show up to ask about him and pay respect
NTA
You were invited, you can go.