Just as a title says, would I be an asshole for confronting my neighbor over his constant guitar playing. Disclaimer I’m on mobile and this is a throwaway.
We have a neighbor who moved in about six months ago and as the title says he is CONSTANTLY playing his guitar. He plays all hours of the day sporadically throughout the day. He’ll start as early as 7:00AM and go as late as midnight. It’s even more frustrating because he does it in his room, which shares a wall with our bedroom. We live in an apartment complex so obviously the apartments are closed together and the walls aren’t very soundproof.
We’ve put a noise complaints before, but our leasing office didn’t fully believe us. The times that they have spoke to him he stops for a few days and then starts back up. Even now as I’m typing this, it’s 10:40 on a Wednesday night and he’s playing.
It’s almost virtually impossible to get some sleep now because he plays so late, so early, and so randomly. Even when we do try to take naps during the day or sleep in he’ll randomly start playing. We’ve left notes, and spoken to the leasing office but he literally won’t stop. We’ve never had issues with neighbors (3+ years living here) before and I don’t want to come off as an AH if I knock on his door and confront him directly.
I did ask some people in my personal life, but they told me to drop it because these might be the only times he can play.
Edit: It’s 11:30pm now and I left a note. I will update if anything happens. I will also be calling the office again in the morning when they open.
Just wait another 6 months before talking like an adult.
Have a face to face, see if you can agree on a timetable or headphones or play other side of house.
Then start documenting and recording times.
But talk first.
Then get a drum kit and blast it everytime he plays or sleeps.
I haven’t said anything yet because my boyfriend says I have a habit of being too aggressive and confrontational but I seriously am considering the drums at this point. You’re the second person to suggest that to me.
The drum kit revenge fantasy is hilarious, but yeah, talking it out first is definitely the move. Maybe even suggest specific quiet hours so it feels like a compromise.
NTA. Go confront him. Absolutely confront him. I can’t give any more advice other than that, because my advice would probably involve you being too confrontational. Because I am all about open and honest, communication; however, I am also aware that that doesn’t work every time 😅
That’s why I’m asking for advice I’m typically and not really much of a confrontational person because I know I can lose my temper. But I’m at my wits end, and everybody in my life keeps slamming that we shouldn’t confront him face-to-face.
Is this electric or acoustic? Either, if acoustic..ask him to play electric and use headphones and if they already play electric tell them to use headphones..
It’s acoustic.
Ah man that’s rough.
Do you have videos about it? I would have video recording that will have time stamps and record him for about a week and then take that back to the office and every time he does it after do the same thing. It’s tedious but if they want proof give them proof. Ask the apartment people if this is something that other will have to live with if they don’t do anything about and offer to post the videos in the apartment review on sites like google. It’s tough but most apartments need a solid paper trail so to say. Also talk to the neighbors under him. I promise they hear it too and if that all fails plan to move and in the mean time give him a taste of his own medicine. Sleep in the living room and play loud music against his wall all night long.
NTA.
Some people are dense, and do not know that their noise is annoying unless someone brings it up to them. I had a neighbor that had no clue that their music sounded like it was literally playing in my bedroom, until I told them. I also had another neighbor tell me that when I played music in the shower they could hear EVERYTHING. Just have the conversation.
He may have zero idea because you’ve never said anything. If you do not talk to him, you can’t get a solution.
Record him at a time when it’s supposed to be quiet, then confront him with the reality of how he’s impacting your quality of life. You need to get firm. Right now, he thinks you aren’t engaged enough to make it be a problem for him because he’s heard from the leasing company, not you. Make it clear you are engaged, and do it in person. No note. It’s reasonable to expect quiet time from 10pm to 9am, or whatever hours are specified by your lease.
YWNBTA if you start confronting him. For him, the cost of remaining the same isn’t exceeding the cost of making a change. Flip that for him.
ESH. Sorry, you think going over and talking to him is more of an asshole behavior than complaining to building management and writing notes? In what universe?
You might be living next to a professional musician. He might be giving lessons in his apartment. He should absolutely respect quiet hours and not play between 10pm and 7am. Outside of that, reasonable noise is allowed.
Talk to him. Ask him for his schedule and to stop playing late at night. If he plays electric guitar, ask him to practice unamped. He can also soundproof his wall. And if you nap during the day, get a white noise machine or earplugs.