So, I’m a professional chef, and I throw little dinner parties for friends to keep cooking fun, not just work. It’s how I stay connected to the joy of it. A friend asked me to cater their wedding, assuming I’d do it for free and acting like it was an honor. I get that being part of a wedding is an honor, but cooking for 30+ people is way more work than an honor.
Here’s the kicker: we’re in a social athletic group. He asked me in front of everyone, literally saying, "no pressure, but would you be willing to do this?" Bullshit, "no pressure " he should have asked me in private, don’t you think?
I took a moment to explain what it would take to produce something like this, he was not listening and kept saying " all that matters is that we are getting married"…. hey that’s great but you’ll have to pay for the plates, napkins, food, extra help? he has no concept of logistics on this matter.
He asumed that I would be thrilled to do this for him and didn’t even consider offering to pay me for this "Honor "…
I am a very generous person, but I’m pretty sure that this is too much. Now, the party is supposed to be capped at . but in my experience the guest list tends to grow as you get closer to the event.
I’m pretty sure they expect me to do it for free.
WIBTAH if I said no?i
NTA, but say no immediately. Don’t waste time on trying to think of the best way to say it. You are sorry but you don’t have the time. No. That’s it.
NTA. It’s not an invitation to a wedding, it’s a job offer, and you’re allowed to decline both.
Isn’t their wedding somewhere in the middle of nowhere? I’ve read a bride’s story about asking a friend to cater for a wedding in the woods, but she swears she was willing to pay. Now I’m curious whether these two stories are related.
NTA. Please also consider that if you do it this time you will be setting a precedent within your social group. Do you want the “honour” of catering everyone’s events? No?
“Why not? You did it for our other friend!”