I (19F) had a school project due with two other girls in my group, we’ll call them Myris (19F) and Debby (also 19F). Debby was a very strange child, she’d repeatedly mention how she wants more friends, but then acts in a way that makes people despise her. The super religious, high and mighty type person. She’d always nit pick people’s behavior and say stuff like "how could you be that way? I’d never do that" she’d shame girls with eating disorders and call them attention whores, while at the same time being underweight and struggling to gain weight herself. Safe to say her empathy meter is a little broken… We also went on a school trip together… Now I have a lot of visible scars on my arm, however I wasn’t necessarily afraid to show them especially on a very hot bus. She was quick to say she was uncomfortable and that I should just hide my scars since they’re embarrassing (wtf btw). Apparently she also told Myris a week or so before that she was scared I’d completely ruin her trip and be a menace or cut in our room. She in short made crazy assumptions about people and would downplay the severity of her bitchiness after she’s proven wrong. I was also taken out of my home to live in a protected shelter for abused kids after that trip and told her with the idea I could trust her at the time, what region it was in. (Very dumb, very stupid I know) What did she do? She told the whole school I moved there and they all went and spread lies that I offed myself (whaddahell). When I called and confronted her about it I very rightfully shouted at her. SHE CRIED TEARS OF VICTIMHOOD AS IF SHE LOST HER MOM OR SOMETHING I WAS SO DONE OH MY GOD.. Also called our art teacher a slut for wearing high heels, called atheists real life devils that should rot in the afterlife etc etc. Well, we awere assigned an essay to write for our finals. Our subject was art history. We made a plan beforehand and divided the work load. Debby decided to take on the most work, even when we confronted her she said it’s fine, and that she feels she would do it better than us anyway. Fast forward a few months with the deadline approaching, she, surprise surprise, needed help. (WHICH SHE STILL REFUSED) and then had the nerve to complain to the teacher that we weren’t doing enough (we had already finished our given tasks). She was just too stubborn to ask for help and then pinned our project not being finished on us. Myris was also out sick, and instead of worry or compassion for the fact that she hadn’t shown up at school for a week, Debby called her a lazy bum that can’t do anything right. I lost it and called her a snarky delusional bitch with a perpetual victimhood mentality, told her she needed a good dick sucking and that all that dih length went to that huge ego of hers. She immediately went to the same teacher she called a slut a few weeks prior to this, just to complain and spread her tears of woe like she always does.
Did I do too much?
You’re old enough to know what a paragraph is.
Just cut her off. With everything she’s said and done, why is she still “a good friend”?
NTA. She had it coming
ESH. She sounds terrible, but you stooped to her level, and you sound like you’re more into the drama than you are in actually standing up for the people she puts down.
ESH
ESH.
You two sound like you hate each other. How do you call her a “good friend” when y’all treat each other like this?
Just don’t talk to each other
ESH
This reads more like a group of 13yo’s than 19yo’s.
You didn’t need to go that over the top, but why do you keep trusting her?
ESH. You know, you dont have to associate with this person… right?
NTA, but you will be if you continue to consider this person a friend. She’s not your friend, and you should distance yourself from her.
I am sorry you have had such a rough time with your home life. I’m guessing that you have some bad examples of emotional health and relationship dynamics. See if you can get yourself some counseling – not for anything specific, or because you’re wrong or bad, but because it sounds like you need guidance processing trauma. It sounds like you are harming yourself (scars, what you said about the overnight school trip). Please do what you can to get treatment. You deserve so much better than you have, and even though you shouldn’t have to seek out support, that’s the shitty hand life dealt you. But, support is there, and you CAN become the strong, smart, woman you want to be. Try not to let the Debbys of the world sap all of your energy and make you feel like you need to lash out at them. There are always Debbys, and learning how to handle yourself with them will be a great life skill.
Why do you (or anyone) have ANYTHING to do with this girl?
She’s only a problem if you let her be. The sooner she realizes she doesn’t matter, the faster she will leave you alone.
She sounds bad.
You sound just as bad, now that you’ve dropped to her level.
Nothing says you have to be friends.
If you don’t like her, *don’t spend time with her*. It’s really that simple.
Time to drop the drama and start growing up – you’re 19, not 12.
ESH.
This story is gross. I have never in my life had “friends” who behaved like either of you.
ESH
omg ESH
How are people just answering this post normally?
This is the most disturbing and god-awful treatment of ‘friends’ to each other…like I’m astounded.
You are all terrible and need to get new ‘friends’ to be with.