So I’m f, 15yr old and my mom never let’s me use the kitchen. Like not even once because I’m a teenager and I might hurt myself. But it’s really embarrassing to not know anything at all. All my friends cook really good meals and I don’t even know how to cook noodles or how to toast bread. So when my mom went for work I went to the kitchen to cook frozen nuggets. I used pan and oil which caused the smoke. The nuggets turned out good but the entire house was filled with steam. I realised this after cooking. I thought turning on the fan would help and then I went to my room. After an hour my mom came but the steam/smoke was still there. My mom went crazy she started yelling and shouting because of what I did. She was like "u have noo patience at all why didn’t u wait till I come so I can cook for you??" But really I didn’t feel that hungry I just wanted a snack and there was nothing in the kitchen so I cooked. AITA ?
It honestly sounds like your mom is more anxious than angry. Some parents panic about safety and overreact.
Steam and smoke are not the same thing.
Oily smoke will put a film throughout your home and the smell can last for days.
NTA, but seriously watch some YouTubes or something so you can learn some basics.
Ah now at 15 you can at least read instructions or Google. If the entire kitchen was still covered in steam and SMOKE aves later you clearly didn’t even turn off the hob correctly after deep frying nuggets in a pan of hot oil. Your lucky you didn’t burn down the house. The fact you don’t see an issue with that is the reason mom won’t let you cook
YTA, you’re 15 and you broke a house rule and it sounds like you accomplished what your mom was afraid of and almost burnt the house down. That doesn’t negate the fact that you want to learn to cook, and your mom is perhaps being too strict. Ask to help make meals while she is cooking so she can build confidence in you and you help and learn.
Steam and smoke are not the same. You filled the kitchen with smoke. NAH. Nothing wrong with wanting to learn something new but cooking with hot oil isn’t the place to start. There’s a decent chance she’s not actually angry and just worried and thinking of all the worst case scenarios that could have happened.
Mild yta, it sounds like you weren’t that far from a pan fire, and you could have opened a window or two, but no harm no foul. Like everyone else has said mom’s probably just being mom. Get some lessons if only in the form of supervision.
Steam != smoke. I wouldn’t get mad about some steam, but I would get pretty mad too if the whole house is filled with smoke, everything stinks and the smell doesn’t go as easy.
I’d call YTA for not properly cleaning up after your mess, you could have opened a couple windows and make sure the smoke was actually going away, but you just went to your room, left the problem for your mother and then came bitching about her to reddit.
You didn’t know how to cook, sure, but what prevented you to quickly search or watch a short youtube video before messing everything up?
And cleaning up after your mess is not a thing about knowing, is just being decent and responsible. You’re 15, you should know some things by now, like cleaning your own mess or the difference between steam and smoke for example.
It sounds like OP’s mom is failing at parenting, since she is not teaching her children how to cook (and probably/possibly not teaching them how to clean either). Honestly it sounds like the mom is an overprotective parent that doesn’t want her children to actually grow up.
So, frozen nuggets have instructions on them. If you followed them, you shouldn’t have smoke or steam.
However, NTA for wanting to learn to cook. If your mom won’t teach you, see if your school has home economics classes or watch YouTube videos or Food Network to get ideas about what to do. I recommend avoiding the short videos because they are not super detailed on what to do and you won’t learn techniques, which is where you should start.
I would recommend also sitting down with your mom and explaining that you want to learn from her so you can take care of yourself and your future family. For instance, if you go to college far away or get married or get a job in another city. You know what points she will listen to as reasonable and which she will scream “over my dead body” to. Just be calm and make your point. Let her know you will follow any rules she puts on your learning, you just want to learn.
ESH. Your mom should be helping you learn to cook. But you shouldn’t have tried when you were home alone. Steam and smoke aren’t the same thing; you burned your food and could have stared a fire.
Wanting to learn how to cook is fine but you used a pan and oil and filled the house with steam so that means you didn’t read the instructions (nugs go in the over or an air fryer) and that’s not steam it’s smoke. Soft Y T A, read the instructions.
Edit ✍🏻 switching to ESH because you should have simple skills taught by now.
>my mom never let’s me use the kitchen.
>I used pan and oil which caused the smoke
I started to learn to cook when I was 9. Your mom not letting you even try is doing you a disservice. At some point you will be leaving the house, without any skills to feed yourself. So there is some blame on your mom’s part for not introducing you to the basics, including kitchen safety.
Which bring me to the borderline grease fire. If there was that much smoke, it was at the high end of bursting into flames. And since you have zero training in the basics, you could have burned the place down.
If you wanted a snack, you should have gone a much simpler route. Obviously the fan was insufficient to clear the smoke, but you went to your room anyway. You didn’t seem that concerned. Why didn’t you open a window? Why didn’t your smoke alarms go off?
Your mom is partially to blame, but you were the one who did everything afterwards. You’re 15, not 6. There has to be ownership of what you did wrong here. Your mom not teaching you the basics does not mean you don’t have agency over your actions. This falls in your lap.
YTA
ESH – Your parents have failed you for not teaching you how to cook earlier in life, but you completely failed at reading directions when cooking those nuggets and could have burned the house down.
That was not steam it was smoke. Steam is water vapor like from after a hot shower, smoke comes from burning something and indicates risk of fire.
There are instructions how to cook frozen nuggets (hint: NOT LIKE THAT!!!) on the side of the box. You seriously could have burnt your house down.
It’s good to learn to cook but that involves LEARNING to cook not just doing shit in the kitchen with no research, reading instructions, or taking directions from anyone. That’s very dangerous.
Ask your friends to teach you to cook. Read instructions. Start with simple things, definitely do not deep fry things in oil as a beginner.
YTA