i try my best not to be nosy, but whenever something happens with my partner, or he gets upset, he doesnt talk to me for hours, sometimes a day or two, do all men do this? im confused. he always tells me hell text me once he feels better but isnt your spouse supposed to be your safe space? im not trying to make this about me, but i want to be the one he runs to whenever he needs comforting. im afraid to ask why he never tells me anything so men tell me, what is it that i might be doing wrong and unaware of?
I know a couple,give him space,but dont go far….😅
Give him space and leave him alone. Let him know you’re there when HE’s ready.
In the past I tended to internalize/compartmentalize things as to not bother my ex-wife with what sometimes turned out to be trivial.
Plus as a guy, I felt had to walk the fine line of being masculine yet vulnerable at the same time. Being vulnerable apparently was not a sure-shot that my spouse would not use that against me in later situations and so unfortunately I withdrew a bit from being so vulnerable with her but kept that for friends, therapy, others.
Don’t date an avoidant. This is a lesson everyone learns. They cannot handle there own emotions and surely will not be able to handle yours
When a woman is upset they tend to discuss it with their support group. I heard it releases some chemical in the brain that feels good.
When a man is upset he gets a shot of adrenaline that compounds the agitation but also causes him to focus so he can absorb the problem and overcome it if possible. Not all men go thru this the same but mostly we want to be ldftvalone when we’re upset.
You can see where the problem is ?
The main reason most me keep it inside is if you’ve ever used a shared vulnerable topic or conversation against him in the past.
That will lose confidence privileges often permanently.
The other most common reason is (as most men can agree) we don’t have anyone to share it with throughout most of our lives.
So internal processing becomes the reflex. (His silence)
im confident ive never used anything against him in the past. he always tells me how im the only person he tells everything to and all that. but yeah i think its the most common reason thing
It’s good to give space but him going a day or two without talking when he’s upset is crazy.
It means a temporary lack of energy in tackling the problem
I always thought this was something women did, not men… As a guy, I’d rather just squash whatever is bothering me and move on.
But I’ve dated women that do this, it’s super immature and makes me angry (which I guess was their goal?) and has me daydreaming of dumping them while it’s going on because it’s such a teenage/immature behavior that impacts EVERYONE around.
Don’t think there’s anything you can even do about it other than encourage them to get a therapist that will teach them how to behave better.
This is going to get removed. We can’t speak for him.
why?
Because one of the rules here is you can’t ask why someone else is doing something. When the moderator sees this, they’re going to remove it.