I would like to say that I am getting treatment from the doctors. I get specific medical pills for lack of things in my body that I need.
I am suspected of having ADD/ADHD and [ARFID( Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)](https://www.gu.se/en/gnc/11-things-we-now-know-about-arfid)
For context I have been struggling with food ever since I was a kid which led to being underweight most of my life including now. It’s hard for me to get up go to school. It takes at least an hour for me to regain energy. I am missing a lot of classes due to that. Usually the first or second lesson and sometimes during the end of the day or mid day depends on when I am extremely tired. I can’t go in because I get overstimulated, irritated and my concentration is out of the window. I’d usually sit on a school couch or bench calming down and looking for something to eat but it’s still results in ke missing classes and my attendance being high.
So last year when I started gymnasium, I tried to get my school to start an investigation for ADD/ADHD but they had that usual stereotype for “boys” adhd and were just very ignorant when it comes to that so I just gave up after two tries. My attendance was still shit but the Swedish board of student finance didn’t take away my money so that worked. Fast forward to now…. They’re taking it away because of my absence and I haven’t gotten a medical certification for my absence, which I should have from the very beginning. I am literally 35kg. My body is fighting for its life to survive. I found out this week that they’re taking it away and only gonna start giving my monthly allowance when they have noticed ky attendance have gotten better. ( I have to pay the money I am not getting back) so now I want to report that it’s for medical reasons and not because I just want to skip classes for funsies.
I was in the car with my dad when I asked him if I can get a medical certificate for school reasons because I am struggling. We ended up having two conversations. My dad talking about my academics and my attendee and me talking about that why I want the certificate. We argued a little bit more after that.
When I got home together with my sister because my dad went to the grocery store, I complained to her about what happened after she noticed that I was upset. I stopped after my dad came home but I did tell her that I wanted to get a medical certification and she agreed with me and actually listened. I can’t seem to remember how I started arguing with my dad again but he started complaining for some reason. It was back and forth having the same arguments before. He talked, I listened, I tried to talk and he didn’t listen. It’s always one sided but I did get my feelings out. I am struggling, I feel guilty, I don’t want to be this way, I am trying my best. I can explain more in the comments but basically now I feel like I don’t deserve a medical certification and that I should be doing more instead. I’m not asking for sympathy.
>why I want the certificate
INFO: Why exactly do you want this? Is it to get medication, or for a medical excuse to not be in class? I’m just a little confused on what this would do for you, not saying you don’t need it, it sounds like you need some medical intervention.
If you have ADD/ADHD, you likely need meds. I wish I had been diagnosed when I was in school, instead I’ve gone without for so long I don’t know what it would do for me now. (I’m almost 40.)
Mostly yes but also for my school to help me get more time during tests and stuff. I need some kind of help because I am struggling with school. Although I am not diagnosed yet I will be soon they’re staring an investigation maybe before I’m an adult or after I’m not sure e
I see – that makes sense. Getting the accommodations you need to do better in school is important. Girls also present with ADHD/ADD very differently than boys. My homeroom teacher called it out when I was in 6th grade, I wish my mom had listened. Don’t let your parents shrug this off!
Unfortunately you have get through the school to get an diagnosed from the doctors first unless you are already put in child and youth psychiatry. It’s also harder to get diagnosed after elementary school here in Sweden. I don’t know how to explain it but after your years spent in elementary school from 9-16 that’s the easiest way to get access to help but after that when starting gymnasium, it’s extremely hard
Why would they wait to start testing you? Have your parents get you to a dr nie to get tested
I’m in the US (not Sweden) but here you would need a certificate in order to receive appropriate accommodations in higher ed settings (I’m not sure about k-12). For instance, you can get extra time on tests and assignments, a person that takes notes for you, a test environment with less distractions, remote alternatives, attend class with your service animal, etc. What type of accommodations you get are up to the institution (not the instructor), and require a certificate to be even up for consideration.
NTA. You cannot say you have ADD/ADHD or ARFID until you get the medical certification. This is something you should do for your sake. This isn’t for school, for your family, or for anything else. I know you already suspect what the problem is, but you won’t be able to tackle it or get treatment for it until you get certified. So why would you be the asshole for wanting to get it certified?
In the mean time, I’m not sure how it is in Sweden, but you should write an email to whoever is involved in your tuition issue to notify them of what you’re going through. Also ask them for any resources or suggestions they can offer to help you not make your situation worse while you get your conditions certified.
I have gotten a certificate from my doctors about my weight and gym classes but not asked my my attendance. Although I am not diagnosed yet, an investigation is still going on so maybe they can help with that. I’m not sure but with my weight it should be clear that I am medically sick and I am getting help with my psychologist and dietist but I’m just not diagnosed yet.
INFO: Out of curiosity, do you need parent permission to get the medical certification, or do you just need your dad to drive?
It’s strange that there isn’t some kind of social service involved at this point, as well. I don’t know Sweden’s social system at all, but I know in my region, your attendance would have brought some kind of authority’s attention to you by now. You would also be free here (Canada, for what it’s worth) to access medical care including doctor appointments and diagnoses without your parents involvement. Vaccinations and medications are also up to you here, and it honestly surprises me that Sweden isn’t similar. You have to find a way to foot any bills involved, but then, as a youth, there are programs available to cover those for you. I can’t lie… I always thought you guys were ahead of the game in terms of education and medicine, and it’s weird to hear that it’s failing you.
If your dad is preventing you from getting certification and care that you need, it’s time to investigate other avenues, OP. Maybe try your dad again with your sister’s support?
I’m not so sure about the parents needing permission with the medical certification. I did it by myself last time but I just figured that it would be nice to inform my dad and update him on what I should do because he complains that I don’t tell him anything anymore
Get it yourself… and then tell him afterwards.
It is hard to get access to psychiatric care. The parents can’t do anything about it. The easiest way to get help is with getting a referral from the school or a specific doctor you are already seeing.
Given your absences and academic performance, why hasn’t the school referred you yet?
I don’t know your system or life, admittedly, but it seems strange that the first step here is stopping your education payments, or at least, that it isn’t accompanied by access to assistance or social services.
When you say you are suspected of ADD/ARFID, who is it that suspects it? You mention seeing doctors for medication treating some of the consequences of your challenges, but are none of them in a position to refer you, either for psychiatric treatment or to a doctor who could?