**A friend of mine had a brand new pair of hiking boots she brought two years ago and couldn’t return and offered them to me. At first, she said I could just have them, but because I knew they’d cost her a lot, I insisted on paying her something.**
**She suggested I take them on my trip and try them out properly before deciding. I wore them for a couple of days while I was away. After that, I told her I liked them and asked what she wanted for them.**
**She said £100. I explained I couldn’t afford that at the moment as I’m unemployed She said that was okay and offered for me to pay £50 now and £50 later.**
**The problem is, after thinking about it, I realised I don’t like them enough to spend £100. I’d maybe pay around £70, but £100 is out of my budget (I told her this) The day we had the conversation she’d said they were “just over £100” in the sale, but then when I said I liked them and they were comfortable when hiking she said they were £180 originally.**
**So I told her I’d rather not keep them and offered to return them. She said that wasn’t fair because I’d worn them during the trip, meaning they weren’t brand new anymore and she couldn’t sell them as such. She asked me to send her some money anyway as a goodwill gesture since I’d used them and initially agreed to buy them.**
**On top of that, she still has £40 of my holiday money that she hasn’t paid back.**
**She’s now avoiding making arrangements for me to return the boots. The argument got heated she accused me of taking advantage of her and then stopped replying for days, so I blocked her.**
**Later, I unblocked her and messaged saying she could keep the £40 she owes me and I’d keep the boots so we’d be even, or we could figure out another solution. She replied saying I was pathetic and then blocked me.**
**After that, she went into a group chat with our mutual friends (I left this group ) claiming I’d threatened her and stolen her boots. When she didn’t get the response she wanted, she said she didn’t want to be friends with the group anymore. Now the fallout between us has spilled over and affected the whole friendship group.**
**Was I wrong for not just paying her the £100?**
sounds like a mess. maybe just keep the boots and call it even. friendships over shoes, really?
My point exactly . Could have been easily resolved
Na, NTA. She got greedy and then threw a fit when you didn’t acquiesce.
ESH. Honestly, you could’ve just accepted it initially and won’t be having this problem. Obviously, she got greedy.
NTA. She sounds really shady changing what she paid for them, changing what she wanted for them, telling you to try them out before you decided… she knew if you tried them out that meant they wouldn’t be brand new anymore. Sounds like she was trying to trap you and gaslight you.
NTA.
Geez, she kept changing the goal posts. Good riddance to her.
ESH
“She suggested I take them on my trip and try them out properly before deciding.” She’s an AH for suggesting this, then saying it wasn’t fair you no longer wanted them because she couldn’t return them anymore. She’s the bigger AH overall.
But you were both wishy washy about this and it’s infuriating to read. You should have just decided yes or no upfront, agreed a price, subtracted what she owed you from it, and been done.
I agree. I did press on price but she wasn’t sure .
Your both the asshole, **but YTA more.**
You wore them. If she still owes you $40, take that off the $100 price tag. She can’t sell them now that they have been used.
I’ve had my hiking boots for 9 years, and they are still going strong. If you take care of hiking boots, they literally last you forever. The only thing I’ve had to replace on my boots is the laces.
She gave me authorisation to and if I didn’t like them after wearing them I could give them back . I cleaned them up they don’t look used
I guess friend should not have made the offer then. YTA for not reading
NTA yeah. She offered them to you, encouraged you to try them properly on your trip and I ly set a firm price after you’d worn then, that’s on her
If she didn’t want them worn unless sold, she shouldn’t have suggested you take them hiking. Asking for “goodwill money” after you declined and still owing you 40 pounds makes it even messier. Bottom line – shes in the wrong.
NTA, although in retrospect you should have just accepted when she offered them for free. She suggested you use them on the trip before deciding, so she knew going in they were going to be used and you might not end up taking them — it was her idea. You said from the beginning you couldn’t afford 100, 50 + 50 = 100 so idk why she thinks that’s better.