I (24m) have had a best friend since we were probably 4 or 5 (also 24m). This past year we ended up getting an apartment and being roommates. For context I have been out of the closet as gay since I’ve been 17 and he’s always identified as straight.
Anyway very recently he made it known to me that he wanted to start dating/hooking up with guys. I don’t think he’s using the label bi or gay but that’s up to him. I told him I was happy for him and let him do his thing at his own pace. Before anyone asks there is absolutely NOTHING going on between us.
The other night he told me he matched with a guy on a dating app and was meeting him for drinks. He seemed excited but also kind of nervous. I get it because we live in Manhattan and if anyone doesn’t know the gay scene can be kind of intensely competitive here.
When he was in the middle of getting ready, he asked for advice for advice on two different shirts. At that point he hadn’t put on pants yet, and I could see that he was wearing boxers, like the loose plaid kind. I asked him if he was planning on hooking up with this guy, and he said that was the point of meeting up. I suggested to him putting on different underwear, solely because I know that’s not the kind he usually wears and also because frankly he could pull something attractive off. And before any straight guys or girls come for me, gay standards are different lol.
He immediately panics and says that he didn’t wash today and this is what he has. I felt terrible, because I know he’s prone to anxiety and I could see him spiraling. I told him it’s fine, but he seemed insecure. As gross as it sounds, I even offered him a pair, but he denied it. He ended up being too nervous and cancelling drinks and I feel awful. I apologized immediately, he just said it was fine.
He hasn’t outright called me an AH but he no longer seems to want to talk about his dating life with me. Was I the AH, or did he overreact?