I live in Oakville, Ontario, and for the past two years I’ve had four neighbors who moved in together. They’re all international students in their late 30s, all single, and they’ve been studying diplomas while also working.
From the beginning, we didn’t really get along. They’re honestly pretty immature for their age and complain a lot about their jobs, their classes, how hard life is here, how lonely they are, how dating is impossible, how Canada isn’t what they expected. It gets exhausting listening to it nonstop. I’ve tried to be polite, but after a while it’s hard to feel bad when someone is negative all the time.
That said, they were always super confident they’d be able to stay in Canada permanently once their studies were done. They talked about it like it was guaranteed. I never said anything, but I always thought they were being a bit unrealistic. Immigration isn’t exactly easy, especially when you’re just doing diplomas and working random jobs.
Recently, reality hit them. Their permits are expiring soon, and it turns out they weren’t able to get the pathway they expected to stay. They’ve been really upset about it and spiraling hard. Complaining even more, saying their lives are over, how unfair everything is, how Canada led them on. It’s been a lot.
Even though we don’t get along, I genuinely felt bad for them. Uprooting your life and then realizing you have to leave is tough. So I decided to be the bigger person and threw a small going away party for them. Nothing huge, just some drinks and snacks. I invited them over and told them it would be nice to have one last good memory before they head back.
Three of them were awkward but said thanks. One of the guys, though, got really upset and said the party was insensitive and that I was rubbing it in their faces that they failed to stay in Canada. That honestly wasn’t my intention at all. I was trying to do something nice despite our history and despite how negative they’ve been toward me and everyone else for two years.
I feel like no matter what I do, I’m somehow the bad guy to them. If I ignore them, I’m cold. If I try to do something thoughtful, I’m apparently cruel. At some point, people have to take responsibility for their own expectations and life choices. I didn’t make any promises to them about immigration, and I didn’t cause their situation.
So AITA for throwing them a going away party to try to end things on a nicer note, even if one of them took it the wrong way?
NAH you were trying to do something nice, but I can see how they feel it’s insensitive. Wish them the best, and don’t worry about it.
NTA but you are an over people pleaser. Get some therapy to why you overcompensate with people who don’t like you and learn to create some boundaries within yourself.
I mean yeah, YTA. You don’t even like them, they’re vocal about how disappointed they are to be leaving, and now you’re throwing a party that they’re expected to attend to celebrate them leaving? That’s not a nice thing to do, you’re celebrating their sadness.
I invited other neighbours they and I know as well.
Oh neato a zero day account post
Was it the cast of always sunny?? These people sound horrible. Nta
NTA. You seem like a nice guy trying to be friendly to a bunch of ungrateful entitled assholes. Consider yourself lucky they will be gone soon
It’s hard to make a judgment, my dog is going insane, is someone using a dog whistle?
YTA. They were neighbours not friends.
NTA you were trying to be nice. They were in a bad situation and that person took their frustration out on you. Just keep in mind, going away parties are more for happier occasions. These people are literally leaving against their will.