I (F, from the US) met and married my husband (M, from Egypt) while living overseas. We married in 2023 in his country. Due to visa restrictions and overall timing, we are finally planning a small wedding reception for my family and friends in the USA. The wedding reception will be this summer, July 2026. It will be about 4 hours total. I’m not wearing a bridal gown. It’s more of an event to celebrate us and a chance for my immediate family and friends to meet my husband. Some of his family, who live in the United States, have also been invited. My mom and dad are both paying for the wedding reception. They’re splitting the costs 50/50.
My parents are divorced and my dad has been married to my stepmother since 2008. Her extended family was not directly involved in my upbringing. I saw them at family functions about once a year while I was in middle and high school. They were not included at my college graduation or celebrations. I didn’t see them a lot at all in my 20s. We all attended a Christmas party hosted by my step mother’s sister in 2024. It was the first time I had seen her extended family in over five years.
My dad is now requesting we invite the siblings of my stepmother, that live locally, to my wedding reception. They were not on my invite list that I shared with him and save the dates were sent in January. He didn’t object or question my guest list at the time.
He texted me last night saying he and my stepmom were at a funeral and had dinner with one of her sisters. He said he accidentally brought up the wedding reception to them and now thinks we should invite some of her siblings who live in the area to the event. They would be my step mom’s sister K and her husband M along with her other sister B and her boyfriend T. I have met T once.
I don’t dislike my stepmom’s family at all. We are Facebook "friends" and I follow their college aged children on IG. I just don’t consider them close family. We never did holidays together, they do not reguarly correspond with me. My stepmom doesn’t even see them that much! Maybe once or twice a year and most of them live in the same city. My dad is saying I should reconsider.
My twin sister is also concerned because if we invited them to my wedding, she’d be obligated to invite them to her wedding. She has a serious boyfriend and they’ve looked at rings together.
My stepmom and I get along well enough. We haven’t had the best relationship but overall, I enjoy spending time with her and my dad when I visit home. My mom and dad get along well enough, too.
AITA for not wanting to include a lot of extended family members or should I relent because I’m not the one paying for the event? There is some wiggle room on the guest list because a few of my close friends can’t attend. Should I just see this as a "more the merrier" type situation? Or, should I stick to my original plan of immediate family & friends even if it may be a smaller gathering due to some of them not being able to join?
NTA for wanting only the people you know well at your wedding celebration.
But you’re also not paying for it so what’s a few extra people to make everyone happy and comfortable?
Your sister can deal with her future wedding how she sees fit.
It’s not like they’re going to meaningfully interact with you, they’re going to hang out with the people they know and you’ll get an extra gift out of it. Not coming out of your pocket. Might as well.
NAH. But I honestly don’t see why you can’t invite them. It’s a party and it honestly wouldn’t hurt you at all to extend an invitation.
NAH but if inviting them has no negative repercussions since ur parents are paying n u don’t dislike them, i would suggest invite them. Not inviting will create a little negativity in ur happy event. Your sister can say no at her time. Don’t become the villain for her
NTA in the slightest. Inviting your step mom is one thing, inviting all of her family is another. I wonder why your dad thinks that just because he mentioned your wedding means he should invite them. My whole extended family knew I am getting married and most of them weren’t invited.
NAH, but to keep the peace, if your mom is ok with it, you might consider an invite, as it sounds like your step mother is getting hassled by her family, and unless they are unpleasant people doesn’t sound like it would do harm
You like the people, and the person paying is asking for it. Do you just want to be an asshole??? I can’t think of a single reason why you would even post this. “Ok dad” was two words. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
This was my exact take. He’s paying and you have no problem with them. If you’re not that close they may not come anyway. But even if they do, it’s a chance to get to know them better. I see no reason to refuse.
NAH. It’s a reasonable request, but everyone planning a wedding has to draw the line somewhere.
I personally would invite them in your shoes. Two couples who live locally, who you get along with, from a family that’s included you in their holidays and family events, seems worth it to make your stepmom feel like family and your dad happy. But I don’t know your budget or venue limitations. If you’d rather keep it small, I’m sure there’s a diplomatic way to say so.
I don’t see the big deal in inviting them. I think you will cause more issues by not inviting them.
NAH, and you’re not the AH at all. But I’d invite them. You have room, your dad is paying, and you don’t dislike them. But it’s your event, so it doesn’t matter what I would do!
Nah. But if there is space, you don’t have to pay, and it would help your dad out why not.
YTA. It’s 4 people and he’s paying half the cost of the event. If you want absolute discretion over a guest list, pay for the event yourself, otherwise count yourself lucky it’s only 4 people.
All these N T A, but it’s four people and you have the space and your dad is paying for half the wedding! You enjoy her company and get along with her, so is it really that big of an ask? YTA