me (15f) and my best friend (15f) have known each other since we were little kids and our families are really close. lately i’ve noticed she’s been drinking more and more. i’ve had alcohol a few times too so i’m not acting innocent, and i’m definitely not a party pooper or someone who just wants to ruin the mood. i’m not against having fun. but with her it feels different. it’s not just a random party thing anymore, it feels like it’s becoming a regular habit
there have been weeks where she drinks multiple times and sometimes it feels like she actually wants to get drunk, not just “have fun.” she’s been going through a lot recently and struggling with personal stuff and school, and it honestly seems like alcohol is becoming her way to cope. she’s even joked about needing it to calm down which really worries me
i’ve been stressed about this for a while because i care about her a lot and i don’t want her future to get messed up. she’s already not doing great in school and i’m scared this could make everything worse. i didn’t want to betray her trust but i also felt like doing nothing would make me feel guilty if something bad happened
a few days ago i told my parents what’s been going on. our parents are close friends so i explained how often she’s been drinking and that i’m genuinely concerned. i didn’t do it to get her in trouble or be dramatic, i just felt like an adult needed to know because i didn’t know how to handle it on my own
now i’m scared that if she finds out she’ll think i snitched and hate me for it. part of me feels guilty and part of me feels like i did it because i care. aita
NTA as it seems to have come from a place of concern.
But please note she will likely think you’re the asshole and will probably stop being friends with you. She probably doesn’t see that she has a problem and thinks you’re just being a snitch.
I think at your age, Alcohol is still “new” and interesting so it’s something that sometimes taken too far. I don’t think you are an AH, because you’ve mentioned it out of genuine concern for your friend. If she does bring it up, it’s just a case of “i was worried about you so i told someone”
NTA alcohol abuse is real and terrifying. At 15yrs old it’s not really a surprise that you’ve had a drink but it is irresponsible to continue in the manner she is going. If she’s making jokes about needing it to cope, that’s a red flag. Hopefully, her parents lean more towards being understanding and trying to get her help as opposed to simply punishing her, because she does need help.
NTA, I’m sorry OP, this situation sucks. I think you did the right thing. Alcohol is bad in general and especially when you are so young and your brain is still forming. There is a lot damage it can do.
Your friend will likely not see that you are helping her, but hopefully over time she will see that what you did was for the best.
NTA. I had to do the same when I was 16 (now 38). Predictably she didn’t want to be friends anymore but she was drinking before driving to school, drinking after school. It would have been worse to stay quiet. She needed help.
NTA, I don’t think snitching is a bad thing in this case, I call it being a good friend.
I hope she can get the help she needs and if she does get that help and finds out it was you I hope she would see that.
NTA you did the right thing but unfortunately doing the right thing doesn’t always mean people will appreciate it in the moment. If you watch any episode of Intervention you’ll see that. You’re a good friend for getting them help.
NTA youre still a kid, you noticed your friend doing something more and more dangerous and I formed adults not to get them in trouble but to get them help. You did the responsible thing even if they may not recognize that fact. Also in having your parents tell her parents hopefully it works out that her parents have some adult accountability to help their child in a difficult part of life without just resorting to punishment.
Changes will have to be made, and that means that you to may need to stop drinking to help your friend out.
NTA.
You telling someone about your friend’s excessive drinking actually saved her life. Your friend is becoming an alcoholic at a very early age.
Your friend is doing what alcoholics do: get drunk to numb the pain of what they are going through. Your friend needs to get help and help to stop drinking
NTA. Alcohol addiction is a serious issue that can have terrible consequences, the least serious being possibly being grounded by her parents. You were absolutely right to let trusted adults know – this is above your paygrade. You are a good person and a good friend, and are very smart for understanding that this is a complex issue that requires adult involvement.
Your friend may very well be upset, but please note that you did the right thing because you care about her and because she does need help.
I hope her parents are able to get their daughter the help she needs. She’s self-medicating with alcohol as a young teenager- that should raise alarm bells in her parents that something is wrong. Hopefully, their response is not just punishing her for her outlet and coping mechanism instead of figuring out why she needs it, what’s bothering her to that extent, and helping her find a good therapist and a chance at healthier tools in her coping toolbox.
Thank you for being a caring and considerate friend. Sometimes the right thing to do feels so hard to do. As a stranger, I’m proud of you for noticing and for taking steps to help your friend out.
Nta
She could be angry at first, but someday she’ll understand. Else she’s a timebomb in your life
Its not snitching. Actually what you did was pretty badass. You care about your friends wellbeing. You did the right thing. This #nosnitching stuff died in early 2000s. You are a good friend. NTAH