Hey first time poster I think. It’s kind of annoying and I wanted to ask people’s opinions because it’s been on my mind.
So there are these instant noodles that you cook on the stove then add sauce to. My partner (M25) and I (F25) loved these so much but I noticed that he would only eat them when I decided to make them. So I stopped to see something. Then he started asking me to make them again I refused. I told him to make it himself and then he asks “how do you make it?” I say to read the instructions. He gets annoyed and says “why can’t you just tell me? Why be difficult?” Because it’s so easy???
Needless to say he didn’t make the noodles.
I feel bad because I thought maybe I was being difficult with him but if I had to read these easy ass instructions, why can’t he?? Why am I getting involved in this simple ass task? Am I the asshole?
Edited to add: He can definitely read. I’m not sure how else to prove that he’s an avid subtitle user. I also don’t make the noodles any different than from what the package says.
Edit 2: for context also he’s the one who showed me these brand of noodles, so he’s made them before. I probably started eating and buying them a month or two afterwards. Honestly I never thought of it as testing I thought of it as me seeing a pattern, stopping it and trying to see what the problem was. I could’ve been better at that. Definitely never meant it to be taken that way.
Sounds like weaponized incompetence to me. He knows how to make the noodles, he just wants you to do it for him.
NTA. Why does he need you to tell him if it’s on the package? And it doesn’t sound all that complex to begin with.
This is emotional labor, even when you aren’t doing the actual task you are still expected to do work to teach him how to do the task.
NTA-if a grown man can’t make instant noodles on his own, that’s a problem.
You know there’s a guy in my life that does this exact same thing…..my 12 yr old son. Your adult husband is acting like a child. NTA unless he doesn’t know how to read and you know that to be true.
NTA if he can’t be bothered to read a simple instruction than how is he going to be in other aspects. This is a red flag for me. He could since I imagine he has to read and follow instructions at work he chose to be lazy watch out for this becoming a pattern.
What is the only thing more embarrassing than being too stupid to make instant noodles?
Being together with a person who is too stupid to make instant noodles.
Is he 10? My step kids are 10 and 12 and they can make instant noodles all by themselves.
This is how it starts. A simple bag of noodles and you end up with a lifetime of emotional and mental load.
NTA sounds like he may be working towards a full on weaponised incompetence lifestyle with you
NTA. It’s called weaponized incompetence and men love to do this to see how much free labor they can get out of a woman. Don’t fall for it and stand your ground. People treat you how you allow them to treat you.
It is weaponised incompetence ,…as long as you make them he doesn’t have to learn. Hold the line or he’ll only get worse. If he’s not willing to make literally the easiest meal, he’s being lazy and making you do his share.
NTA. You did give him instructions. You told him to read the box. He’s definitely having a try at weaponized incompetence. Don’t feed into that. He’s supposedly a fully-fledged adult. He should be able to fix himself a snack without you hand-holding and doing the mental work.
If he can read subtitles, he can read a noodle packet. This isn’t about noodles, it’s about not wanting to do the mental labor. You’re not being difficult, you’re just not volunteering to be his instruction manual
This is called weaponized incompetence. He’s pretending that everything is so hard to do so that he doesn’t have to do it. Stand your ground. NTA