Hi all. I want to start by saying thank you to everyone who commented on my original post and opened my eyes. To cut to the chase, my boyfriend is now my fiance and we are planning for our wedding in the next 2 or 3 years (money lol).
I WON’T be putting my name on his deed until AFTER we are married. You were all right and I think I was just angry at my parents for tricking me so I wanted to do something reckless.
To clarify some misunderstanding in the original post: I am from an Indian family and was raised to obey every command that comes from my parents which is what made it difficult for me to stand up to them.
I suffer with anxiety and depression (which I’m now medicated for and doing well) which is what made it even harder. I was sheltered, coddled, and didn’t know how to world worked because I had no understanding of selfish and greedy people.
The £45K that I lost was taken by my dad to buy the house next door to him and then rent it out to my aunt who was being evicted from her flat at the time. I was told my name would be on the paperwork but it WASN’T.
I have since grown a backbone and my fiance has helped me demand some legal paperwork and contract of agreement for my dad to pay me back every penny with interest. I’ve already received a good chunk and it’s going well.
It’s… Strained… But I think I have a bit more of my parents respect now as well since I’ve put my foot down about my money. I should have it all back before our wedding which is something I wrote into the contract since the money can be used in the wedding instead.
Things are going well, I’ve grown from this, and I’m moving forward with a better understanding. In short, put your foot down, don’t let people walk all over you, and don’t make decisions in anger.
Thank you all for opening my eyes.
Glad to hear! Good luck!
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/lwDVac2bqe
Oh excellent, so good to hear. If l might just ask, is it really necessary to wait up to three years to get married? No one HAS to have a huge expensive wedding, and just being married doesn’t cost anything more than the cost of two people living together.
Unfortunately the fact that they are Indian MEANS that you must spend outrageous amounts of money on a wedding. Source : I’m Indian. I don’t understand it either tho 😭
Thankfully my family doesn’t expect a big Indian wedding and I’ve grown up in the UK so I have no interest either. To be honest, the 2 to 3 year mark is just an estimate. If we save money quickly enough, we’ll just do it next year. We’re just extra cautious people because the wedding will cost, the honeymoon will cost, and we still need money left AFTER paying all that jazz 🤣
First post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1gtcnef/aita_for_telling_my_parents_ill_do_what_i_want/)
Glad things are going well!
My bet – if you spend that money your parents repay you on your wedding, they’re going to tell everyone *they* paid for your wedding.
Knowing them… Probably 🤣 honestly though I couldn’t care less as long as I get my wedding with the man I love. Luckily our relationship isn’t too strained so my mum still plans to pay for my dress 👀
Hope you enjoy your engagement! And at least if you have the money in hand you at least get to spend it on what you want for your wedding and don’t have to give them any veto because they can’t pull the money back.
Exactly! Also, thank you so much! 💜
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Love this update. Sounds like you needed the reality check but also needed to get to that conclusion on your own terms. The part about your parents paying you back and putting it toward the wedding is actually really smart, way better than sinking it into a deed you’re not on.
Thanks for the update OP! I’m honestly shocked you got your money back. Good luck on the wedding!