For the context for this post we need to go back a few months. I was part of a discord friend group consisting of 10 people, not particularly close to any of them. On Christmas, almost everyone suddenly leaves the server. Clueless as to what was going on, I reached out to the owner of the server. We’ll call the owner Archie. Archie told me that they had opened a ticket discussing their grievances with another friend, Stan, and Stan had taken the ticket in “the worst way possible” and that they were upset.
later, the 7 members that remained of the friend group reached out to the 8th, who was unaware of situation. We’ll call them Mia. Archie cowrote a document together with 2 other friends who we’ll call Paul and Mick, detailing the situation, and sent it to Mia. It included little details about the incident that caused the group to fall apart, and focused more on what came before; an abundance of issues never communicated with Stan. Mia responds to the document, questioning Archie and their morals, and communicating that they felt it was unfair that they’d been left in the dark about this issue. Mia also said they wanted to stay friends with Stan. Because of this, we dropped Mia.
Few weeks pass, we’ve made a new server, but it’s quiet. Archie tells me they’re uncomfortable that one of the remaining 7 friends, Taylor, is still friends with Stan, even though Taylor was told that it didn’t matter who they’re friends with. Archie asks me to reach out to the owner of the new server, called Quinn. I message Quinn, explaining the situation regarding Taylor. Quinn calls out my hypocrisy and asks why I didn’t message Taylor instead of them. I tell this to Archie, and we as well as the other 5 remaining members leave the server.
2 weeks pass, and Taylor messages Mick. Taylor explains that it bothers them that they were dropped with no explanation or warning. They have a back-and-forth and Taylors writes a document addressed to all 5 of us, explaining their perspective. Archie didn’t read this document, and asked to be excluded. Paul and Mick called it manipulative, cutting contact with Taylor.
It didn’t sit right with me, so I reached out to Taylor, and apologised for my part in them being dropped. They accepted it and we talked for a while, landing on the topic of Stan. I expressed frustration that I was never told a clear story or given any proof. Taylor sent me screenshots of the incident, showing that Archie had been very hostile to Stan, saying that Stan should’ve responded within 24H (even tho it was christmas). I’d never seen these screenshots, even though Stan had asked Archie not to hide these from everyone. It showed a whole new side of Archie.
I’ve been thinking of discussing this with Archie, but I’ve seen how Mia and Taylor were treated when they expressed compassion for Stan, and I’m scared to receive the same treatment for talking to “the enemy”. So, AITA for talking to Taylor?
More info, what exactly did Stan do deserve being shunned like this?
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My god this is insanely immature. YTA for being seemingly an adult involved in high school level drama.
Ugh what did they say? It was deleted.
It was about people not replying to text messages in an “appropriate time frame” (aka 24hrs during Christmas time)
*That’s* the reason? Holy shit that’s so petty and entitled! I’d be glad to get rid of them if they’re the kind of ppl to have an issue with that
I can’t see how anyone can pass judgment until we know what the original incident was.
Context needed.
We can’t give you much advice without knowing what Stan did. We need more details.
Regardless, I’m assuming you’re quite young. This is just some Discord drama, and in the big scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter that much. They decided that what Stan did (which you omitted from your post) was a dealbreaker to them, and you decided that it was fine.
You’ve also used some manipulative language to exaggerate the reaction your ‘friends’ had (“talking to the enemy”). If you don’t want to share the full detail of whatever Stan did, then just take this moment for some self reflection and criticism. Look back on why you left out what Stan did, and the word choices you made to exaggerate or emphasize certain parts of the story, and be completely honest with yourself as to why you wrote it this way. Don’t dodge the issue.
If you’re not particularly close to any of them, why does it matter? Don’t be friends with people who will villainise people over something so petty. They will do it to you too.