AITA for not wanting my brother to drive high? I (21F) have a brother (25M) who has been driving me places since I was about 16 years old. I have a big fear of driving and usually don’t take the initiative to drive so I am usually getting driven by members of my family, usually my older brother. I am currently living at college but I live pretty close by so I come home every weekend and usually get dropped off by my brother at the start of every week. Today I forgot something as we were leaving and he quickly drove back to let me grab it. As I was walking back to the car I saw smoke coming out of the window and thought it was from his car but as I got inside it smelled like weed and realized he hit his weed pen while I ran to get my item. I got into an argument with him telling him that he shouldn’t drive himself nor me high as it is not safe and he puts his, my, and other people on the roads life at risk. He told me to mind my business and that I don’t know what I’m talking about, that his tolerance is high enough where he can do this constantly. He’s been driving high ever since He’s been 18 but i thought as he got older he would mature and stop doing something that would put him and others life at risk. But I guess i was wrong and according to him im an ungrateful asshole who doesn’t mind her business when I just want my brother and myself to be safe. Am I the asshole in this situation?
NTA. Obvioulsy.
NTA, but you you would be the AH if you let this situation continue. Now that you know that your brother has no problem driving high, you cannot rely on him to take you places. You morally need to find a different way to get places.
Realistically speaking, driving *yourself*. We were all scared of driving once. You can’t have everyone drive you around forever.
Ofc NTAH.
Driver has to be sober. Its just not negotiable. Risking yours, his and other people’s lives is just dangerous. Like he can hold off the smoking until he’s done driving.
If you rely on him for driving you everywhere and see his not sober driving as an issue, you might want start looking for alternatives honestly. Never know when this can end badly. Not saying it will ofc.
It’s fine to want what you want. I wonder though if you’ve ever heard the phrase “beggars can’t be choosers”. You will always be dependent on others you can’t control until you learn to drive.
NTA
NTA and you’re also right, but you will need to stop riding with him period. He will not stop, he will just lie about it to you.
I guarantee you he is high while driving you more than he isn’t already, and he will just tell you he isn’t. There is no way you can verify this and you will be completely unable to change him.
NTA. Now get him treatment before he goes to jail for driving while intoxicated or worse he kills someone.
NTA.
You’re NTA and your brother is a major AH. I’m a huge supporter of weed (I don’t smoke myself but grew up with a family of a lot of potheads) but driving while under the influence of anything makes anyone who does it a major AH.
Driving while impaired is a sure fire to at best hurt someone and at worst take their life. Your brother is irresponsible
NTA but you probably need to start driving yourself
YTA. You are an adult and need to drive or find someone else to drive you. No he should not be driving high. However you don’t get to tell others what to do. You can express concern for his and others safety sure, but once is enough. Boundaries are not to control others, they are to keep you safe. I think you should pay a cab driver. It would make you safe and inspire you to work on your driving anxiety.
NTA, and it’s worth noting that in some places it’s actually illegal. But you really should learn to drive.
If he’s prescribed medical marijuana then I don’t particularly see any real problems with it. Unless we’re going to also prevent everyone who’s prescribed any benzodiazepines like Xanax or Valium and/or opiate medications like Vicodin, Percocet, morphine, etc from driving as well, and I don’t see anyone suggesting that.
The people who use these medications on a daily basis definitely develop a tolerance to them that enables them to lead their daily lives totally normally despite taking a substance that would put mmj/benzo/opiate naive people under the influence and potentially affect their abilities to safely drive.
The fact that the DOT and employers such as trucking companies allow these medications to be used by professional drivers without restriction, is an indication that they’ve taken this into consideration and found that it’s not really a safety concern. If you are concerned with your brother’s mmj use, you can obviously always drive yourself, or refuse to drive with your brother and make alternate arrangements.
NTA. Your brother either has a substance abuse problem or he’s a selfish dick, either way he needs help and some sort of intervention. I’m glad nothing happened, but we can all be self assured like this until something does happen, and ruin his life and hopefully no one else’s. I know you’re both adults, but if he won’t listen to you, you need to involve somebody else in this, your parents, other siblings or his friends if they are mature enough to see that he’s wrong.