i’m a student in a small- medium size high school(120 students) in sophomore year. I’ve been struggling a lot with life recently (got kicked out of my home so am homeless, had substance abuse issues that I had to resolve, crippling insomnia, terrible social life, way too many commitments etc. the list goes on). things really hit the breaking point during this last exam season because on top of working part time, school, all my projects and my parents business, I had to take care of a sick individual. essentially I was running on empty in a way. I really needed to talk to someone and because I was so socially isolated I decided to write a handwritten anonymous note to one of my math teachers about it. it was something along the lines of ""xxx is going thru xxx n you should check on them."" but in a very vague manner. long story short the teacher who received the note thought it was a classmate of mine and she got implicated in the process but when I found out bout that I came clean to her and told her that I was the one who left it. anyway, I feel terrible about it because it ruined my relationship with so many people and I found out that the teachers are talking about it behind my back and that the other teachers advised this teacher to stay away from me and because news travels fast then rest of my peers know and I’m even more socially isolated. so yeah that’s what happened..
Buddy, this is way above Reddit’s paygrade. Go see your counselor and ask for help and access to any resources they may have. Therapy, food bank, shelters.
Oh I’ve dealt with the homelessness issue on my own by renting a cheap place with the money I earned from my scholarship so not really in need of those resources. Also, my school counsellor sucks. When I tried to talk to her she just ended up gossiping to one of the girls who literally caused my high school experience to be terrible just because that girl had been seeing her for longer. That was a few months before this incident
This is an outrageous violation of confidentiality. The counselor should be reported to the principal or someone hgher.
omg the fact that you’re dealing with homelessness and school at the same time is actually insane. reaching out for help isn’t wrong, you’re just trying to survive rn.
You should’ve just approached your teacher or school counsellor (If you have one) directly instead of leaving a vague note. Asking for help when you need it is not a weakness. Also, the teachers will need to discuss it amongst themselves as I’m sure you have more than one teacher. It doesn’t mean they’re being malicious or laughing about you.
Gotta go with NAH. I hope you manage to get through this rough spot and I hope you start realising that asking for help is often vital to getting through a tough spot.
Yea I agree I should have been more direct. I wasn’t thinking very rationally looking back because I was terrified that the school would call up my home and things would get worse for me if my abuser found out I was talking to a teacher ig. Anyway, I really appreciate your input. Thank you. 🙏
You put your name in the letter.
I’m so sorry your school is acting like this. Does your school have a counselor? Does your area have a mental health hotline? I absolutely say that you’re NTA. You need someone to talk to about what you’re going through or even just someone to figuratively hold your hand and comfort you. Most places in the US have a 211 hotline try that to find someone to talk to. My heart is with you
First of all sorry what you’re going through. No one should experience this many responsibilities at such a young age.
NTA. You just didn’t know any better and the closest person you thought was available was your teacher. You were just overwhelmed and it doesn’t make you bad.
And the sharing of your situation with others that the teacher did was unprofessional and plain terrible.
So you didn’t do anything wrong. Hope you get through this
You were overwhelmed and needed help. Writing the note wasn’t malicious, it was a sideways way of asking for support.
The fallout sucks, especially in a small school where rumors spread fast. But this doesn’t define you. Teachers likely overreacted out of caution, not because you’re a bad person.
Stop over-apologizing. If needed, keep it simple: “I was going through a hard time and handled it poorly.” Then move forward.
Right now your stability matters more than your reputation. If you can, talk directly to a counselor or trusted adult about what you’re dealing with, especially housing. You deserve real support, not isolation.
I am confused. Your parents kicked you out but you are still working at their business to the degree it is hindering your schoolwork?? That doesn’t add up….
ESH. You made a poor choice (I know small schools do not have a lot of resources, but surely they have a guidance counselor you could have talked to as a first step), but the worst choice was that of the teacher who received the note. Hard to figure why finding out who wrote the note was more important than looking into its contents (that you may need help).
I can’t tell you how to deal with all you other issues, but for now just keep your head down and it will blow over. Go directly to the guidance counselor if you need help with things in your life beside school work.
Is there a medical person – a doctor or nurse – you could talk with? A social worker? You need support, and the school staff doesn’t seem to be helpful in any way.
I hope you find the help you need and have a happy, stable life.
I don’t think there is anyone I am close enough with to approach about this… I’ve figured most of it out so I am hoping to just keep my head down and pull through but I’ve been thinking about how shit my actions was that my friend/classmates got hurt in the process. Hence the reason for this post to help me process and figure out some things regarding my moral standpoint. Either way I appreciate your comment thank you for the well wishes 🙏
I’m confused. If you wanted the teacher’s help, why leave a note to check on you instead of just going up to them.
ESH, the teachers are being weird about it but you could have made better choices.
However I do think you should see a therapist, not a teacher or reddit, about this.