I 23m met this girl (lets say emma) at uni 23f through a mutual friend. She was supposed to study in my country for 4 years but she only stayed for a year because things didn’t work out. We spent that year being friends. Right before she left she told me how she’s always had a huge crush on me. I liked her, but I wouldn’t say it was anything more than a like because my best friend (mutual friend) told me that friends are off limits and I wanted to respect her wishes so I never really imagined anything with emma.
Emma went back to her home country and we stayed friends. She starting texting me more than usual. We live in different countries and I have a job and uni so of course I don’t have a lot of free time to always text back. The texts started getting angrier longer ruder so I blocked her.
After that she apologized for her actions and we kept on speaking from a time to another till she got back to it again. I gotta agree I led her on sometimes when I was bored. She has BPD and multiple mental issues and is generally not mentally stable. She crossed my boundaries and started spamming me so I stopped speaking to her at all.
She created 400+ emails to contact me. Calls me and texts me all the time and became a genuine inconvenience in my life. Till one day she offered me money to facetime her. It wasn’t sexual it wasn’t a kink or anything she was just obsessed with me and wanted me to speak to her. She is not doing good financially either but I accepted the money. I agreed to speaking to her for an hour and I got a couple of hundreds out of her. Was I taking advantage or her mental illness and obsession with me? Is it fair to accept it?
Edit: when I mentioned I led her on sometimes as in i flirted with her sometimes. I told her there is absolutely no chance for anything serious to happen between us and even when I flirted with her I made sure to let her fully understand that I can just block her the other day. I never gave her any false hope or promises.
YTA!! Big time! And I *Really* hope that this is a “rage-bait” post!!😑
ESH. She’s been harassing you with hundreds of emails and crossing boundaries, which is not okay. But you led her on when you were bored, knew she has serious mental health issues, knew she’s struggling financially, and still took her money. You both handled this poorly.
ESH… she needs to get mental help, and you need to completely step away from her.
Give them the money back, don’t let them in again. The more you let them in the more damage it does to them. They need serious help. I’ve been on both ends of this, it’s never good for either person.
Yes
Yes you are
100% YTA
She may be harassing but there are ways to deal with that
She has mental health which you clearly know and you admit to stringing her along when you’re “bored”
Your behaviour is so ugly here , to take her money when you clearly don’t even like her, this is disrespectful and unkind
ESH she’s being way too much and you’re leading her on/using her stop talking to her and change your socials and email
YTA and that’s gross af
Honestly, until the last couple sentences I was entirely on your side having forgotten the title
The way she has behaved is wildly inappropriate & concerning. You were absolutely correct to have blocked her and should have kept it
However, taking advantage of someone who’s clearly not showing full capacity & is not wealthy like this makes you predatory af
Give the money back, cease all contact. If you can’t create another email address that she does not receive keep blocking and ignoring
Her actions are gross, problematic & troubling. This is a fantastic case however of 2 wrongs. You’ve also likely caused yourself some issues should you ever need to go down the restraining route for example, but under the circumstances whilst I feel for you overall, I cannot dredge any sympathy for that part which you’ve willingly imo brought upon yourself
She’s disturbed, I hope she gets help because she definitely doesn’t need an asshole like you in her life.
YTA, you are taking advantage of someone with mental issues. Shame on you.
YTA. You took advantage of her.
Prick.