Hello, I (21F) have an older sister (25F) who I’ll call Emily.
When I was 18 I bought myself a car. I have been working since I was 14, so I saved around $6,500 (this is AUD btw) and bought myself a car. My car isn’t super fancy or anything but I still drive it to this day.
When my sister was 16 she also got a car. I used to think she was the one that paid for it. Don’t get me wrong, her car isn’t a Tesla or anything, but she told me it was around $8,000.
The other day we were talking about our cars and my sister let it slip that my parents paid for her car. I thought it was a joke at first but no one else laughed.
I asked them why I had to pay for my car but Emily didn’t, and they started talking about how Emily was bad at saving, and she needed a car for school. I asked why couldn’t she have caught public transport to school like i did ( i didn’t get my car until was in year 12).
The kept deflecting all of my questions and I just flat out asked them why they didn’t pay for my car in order to make things fair. They said it was because they knew I was good at saving my money. I was getting called ungrateful for thinking my parents owed me a car, but It wasn’t about that, It was about the unfairness of the situation.
If they thought it was fair-why have they kept it from me for so long?? AITAH for being upset?
NTA
Your parents should offer you something to make up for that. This is not fair. She is being rewarded for being irresponsible. That’s not how she will learn to save money.
Another solution would be for them to have a contract so she can pay it back over time.
NTA. Blatant favoritism
NTA
But I will say they didn’t do her any favors outside of the car. If she’s bad at saving and got rewarded for it she has no incentive to learn. The real world is tough.
Its shitty for them to do that and side step but in the end you’ll still be on top.
NTA. I think its clear they know its unfair given it wasnt discussed openly at the time. I would be really upset.
My parents have given my brother more money over the years, however, he has complex ADHD and was really trying, so none of us begrudge that he initially got a bit more help. He’s got himself to a really secure place now and my parents are happily not contributing anything further.
It doesnt sound like that is what is going on here. Why are on earth are they reinforcing her bad habits? Her getting public transport was an excellent opportunity to learn…
I have this same dynamic in my family. I’m the responsible one so I have to buy everything for myself (I’m grateful, it made me into a productive adult member of society) but my siblings are not so they get their shit paid for and helped with. NTA
NTA.
I think it’s understandable to feel upset. It’s not really about the car itself, but about the fairness and the fact that it was kept from you for so long.
NTA. My parents did the exact same thing. My father spent my college fund and never gave me the option of buying me a car. My little sister has her college completely paid by her fund and they bought her a 2024 ford bronco brand new off the lot. It Is complete favouritism
NTA. This sounds like your parents are being unfair.
You should rather ask, since your sister was 22 when you were 18, why didn’t your parents ask her to buy herself a new car and give you her old car then?
NTA.
It reads like you having better financial skills granted you less privileges than your sister. Not only unfair, it doesn’t make any sense.
NTA
Same stuff happened in my family, but the cliche younger sibling stuff. I bought my own car, laptop, paid my way through uni, paid rent to live at home, had to get a job as soon as legally allowed to. Parents made a huge deal about it. My younger siblings were bought cars, laptops, supported through uni, free to live at home, no push for a job.
Hold them accountable. Throw down about it. I eventually got bought a car and a laptop. Like 10 years later. I’d like to say they realised I was the only one doing something with my life, but probably not.
I’m going with NTA
It woul be unfair and suck but understandable I’d they had a change of circumstances between the time she was 16 and you were 16 *or needing a car* but the fact they kept it a big secret from day dot mean they never planned on helping you out with yours.
I’d say NTA and you’ve just found out who the favourite is. Welcome to the club 🙃
NTA. I’m sorry this happened to you. That your parents are assholes who favor your sister over you. I wish I could say “it will get better.” But it won’t. If they are reacting like this, blaming you for their treating you poorly, it will likely be like this forever.
And if/when you go NC with them, they will whine to anyone who will listen about how “they don’t understand why you are being so mean! They love both of their children equally. She should be grateful!”
NTA
>If they thought it was fair-why have they kept it from me for so long??
Classic narcissist behavior. Emily is the Golden Child. You’re the Scapegoat.