I(26M) recently went on a family vacation that took months to plan.
My family planned a vacation and we agreed to split the cost of the beach house and groceries evenly between six of us. Everyone was fine with that. When we got there, my cousin showed up with her boyfriend and his two kids. No one knew they were coming. The house suddenly felt crowded and the grocery bill went way up. Later that night she said since there were more people, everyone should chip in a little extra for food and utilities. I said I’d only pay the amount we originally agreed on since she was the one who brought extra people without asking. She got upset and said I was being cheap and making things awkward. A couple family members said I should just pay a bit more to keep the peace, but I didn’t think it was fair. So I stuck to my original share and refused to pay extra.
NTA, that is so audacious to just bring along 3 extra people without them being invited, or telling anyone. And wanting you to subsidise it.. Immediately no!
NTA. Wow, that is some nerve. Who shows up to anything arranged with other people with unexpected guests and expects everyone else to pay for them?
NTA.
That makes absolutely no sense. The conditions cannot be changed without prior consultation and agreement from all parties involved. Why doesn’t the friend simply pay the extra costs for himself and the children?
NTA.
If others are fine subsidizing your cousin’s family vacation they’re free to do so. You aren’t obligated. The audacity of calling you cheap when she’s trying to get three more people on your dime.
What about ” happy to contribute more to the grocery pot, but instead of the rental costing x / y people, its now x / y+ 1 dault and 2 children. You can take my contribution from that overflow
NTA – I literally cannot believe the absolute balls of steel your sister must have to go in that direction instead of suggesting, at the very least, “I’ve brought an extra 3 people. We’ll make up the difference in the planned food bill, and what we end up needing to buy.”
Why on earth should others have to pay extra to accommodate 3 extra people when it negatively impacts their own stay?
Surely she had a conversation with her partner about finances and, even if they’re really skint, and can’t pay their share of the accommodation itself (I assume they’re all staying in the same room as her?), then the partner cannot have assumed that it would be a completely free holiday?
Hold your ground. This is not yours to pay.
NTA.
The agreement was to split costs between six people. Bringing extra guests without asking and then expecting everyone else to pay more isn’t really fair.
NTA boyfriend should chip in with overall bill, pay the amount agreed upon prior and cover his children’s food on his own.
NTA – Your cousin has some nerve!
NTA the person who brought the uninvited guest should pay not everyone else
Stick to your guns.
NTA. You spent months planning the holiday and agreed on a set amount.
She changed the plans, at the last minute, without telling anyone.
Any extra money needs to be covered by her.
NTA!
>She got upset and said I was being cheap and making things awkward.
Excuse me? These people were never part of the plan. They were not budgeted for, so expecting people to suddenly produce extra money that they probably don’t even have is unreasonable.
>A couple family members said I should just pay a bit more to keep the peace
Translation: “shut up and be a doormat, so we don’t have to grow a spine and put her in her place for bringing three uninvited guests.”
Absolutely NOT! Do not keep the peace. Guaranteed, your cousin will do this crap again on other trips because nobody will say anything or put their foot down.
NTA- where are these extra people sleeping??
there’s no way i would pay more for someone else to bring three extra people. i don’t “keep the peace.” i am chaos, and they can bite me.
NTA
Not only did you not agree to pay for 3 extra people out of the blue, but hey, why does it suddenly become acceptable to invite someone else to a *family* event without telling anyone first?
Besides, the math just doesn’t add up – grocery cost per capita should be steady, and there are more people under the same roof for the same price, so if your cousin’s bf is paying for himself and the kids (which is the only decent thing to do) then the average cost should go down, not up. Argue he owes you money and see how things go.
Now as for the well-meaning family members who tell you to shut up to keep the peace, you should tell them to f… off. Lack of accountability doesn’t make for healthy family relations.