In my friend group, there’s 4 of us who really like football and we’re all Fiorentina fans (yes, I know we’re shit this season). We don’t have tickets for matches all season but we like to try to catch a match 2 or 3 times a season at the stadium.
Tomorrow Fiorentina play against Parma and we all were theoretically going to watch the match since we bought tickets. But one of my friends said he couldn’t make it because he got a really bad fever and was probably going to be the entire weekend at home. With him out, that meant one of the seats we had bought was now going to be empty, but we wanted to bring someone to replace our friend.
That’s when my other friend suggested that his girlfriend came over to watch the match with us. Now, there’s a couple problems I had with this: 1. She’s not a football fan, let alone a Fiorentina one 2. I don’t really consider her a friend of mine, she’s just my friend’s gf and 3. going to the stadium is, for me, an activity I would only do with the boys or with my dad. I told him that I didn’t really want her to come, and I told him I would tell one of my other friends if he wanted to come see the match. However, he didn’t care at all about what I said and told me that my other friend who wasn’t coming didn’t have a problem about giving his ticket to her so she was coming either way.
I told him it was rude of him to not tell me beforehand about that and that I still preferred someone like my friend or my dad to come over instead of her. He basically ignored my text and just said that I was being an asshole for not wanting a girl to watch football with us (he sort of implied I was being sexist although he didn’t say it directly). Either way I found it to be a bit silly to keep arguing when she was coming regardless so I just said that she could come but I wasn’t okay with it.
I’m posting this because I want to know if I was really the asshole for not wanting her to come. I don’t think my reasons are bad, and I think my friend should’ve respected me a bit more. Honestly, ever since he’s started dating her last summer he’s constantly tried to push her into our plans. This is fine but to me Fiorentina is sacred and it’s an activity I would only do with the boys or my dad, so it ticks me off that she even has to be included in that. Also, when I mean "with the boys" I mean with my friend group, that’s why it might’ve seemed sexist to him but I really didn’t mean it like that.
AITA?
Sorry, but you do sound sexist. I get trying to keep it within a friend group, but you don’t have any more right to decide what happens with an extra ticket than any of the other 3. Someone spoke up first, the sick guy said it was fine, it’s done. Go enjoy the game and hopefully sick friend won’t get sick again next time. YTA.
YTA. Not least of all because your comments about it being a boys’ activity being sexist. But also because you seem to think that this is all about you. It isn’t. There are other people involved, so you aren’t the only one who gets input on who the extra ticket goes to.
Be a better friend and a better human.
YTA. You are misogynistic, and your friend will from now on go with his girlfriend and you’ll be alone. Good for you.
Yes YTA. People’s significant others get invited to things and you will have to spend time with your friends partners.
I don’t think think you’re an asshole, but I want to share some of my experience:
Back when I was still dating my now wife, I had a friend that didn’t want her to join us for pretty much anything….I stopped hanging out with that friend after like the third time he told me that he didn’t want her to be there.
My wife and I have been together for 15 years now.
Yep YTA.
And it may also be the case that you are sexist. Depends what this “with the boys” means.
YTA, your thinking it’s going to be a negative experience before you have even experienced it. Stop being so close minded.
YTA. Maybe your friend didn’t say it directly but I will: you are being a sexist asshole.
Your own words convict you when you say repeatedly you want any trip to the stadium/ football game to be just for “the boys or my dad.”
Bottom line is it’s not your ticket to give away. If he paid for it and can’t go he can dictate who goes to and it was already given to your other friends girlfriend. That’s the end of the discussion, period.
And yes you come across as a sexist AH. Additionally because you were so vocal and irrational about this i wouldn’t be surprised if your friendship with the guys suffered because of it. Especially the guy who’s girl you had reservations about.
I’m a car enthusiast. My daughter never expressed interest in cars. One day I took her on a mountain run with me and some friends. Now she goes to car shows with her friends on her own. My point is you never know what might happen. She may love it and become a big fan of the team due to her having this experience that you tried to deny her of.
Yeah… definitely the AH.
YTA for gatekeeping the most popular sport on the planet from women
YTA and also kind of making a stupid decision. You’ve basically created a boundary in your friendship with this guy, and now he’s constantly going to have to choose between you and his girlfriend – and guess what? You don’t give him orgasms. She does.
You just demoted yourself in his hierarchy of importance. You had a clear opportunity to befriend this girl, to get to know her, and to create a lifelong friendship with both of them. What if they wind up getting married? You could have been standing at the altar beside him, but now you’ve created a likely scenario in which you may not even be invited.
Grow up. Unless you want to be friendless and alone in ten years, you need to stop pretending that your little boys’ club has a “no girlz allowed” sign out front. You sound like a child.
You sound obnoxious and toxic. Just because you have your sexist preferences, doesn’t mean your friends have to abide by them. Yta.
Of course YTA, and your reasons are both bad and sexist. Sports aren’t “sacred,” they’re entertainment. And your friend wants to spend time with his girlfriend, which is completely reasonable. If you keep insisting that “the boys” (sexist) or “your dad” are more important than your friend’s girlfriend, then I wouldn’t be surprised if they stop inviting you to things in the future.
YTA. When you say only people of a certain gender are allowed to participate in a particular activity that is by definition being sexist.