I’m a college student and I’ve been friends with this guy for a few years now. Recently he told me about a plan he had involving his mother, and he asked me to help him cover it up.
Basically, his mom sends him money for his college fees every semester. This time he wanted to tell her that the fees had increased so she would send double the amount. His plan was to pay the actual fee with part of the money and keep the rest for himself. He said he needed extra money for personal expenses and thought it wasn’t a big deal because his mom has the money anyway.
The problem is that he wanted me to back up his story if she asked me anything. His mom knows me and has spoken to me before, so he said if she asked about the fees or about college payments I should confirm that the amount he told her was correct.
I told him I wasn’t comfortable lying to his mother about money, especially something like school fees. To me it felt like helping him deceive his own parent. I suggested that if he needed extra money he should just talk to her honestly or find another way to get it.
He got annoyed and said I was being too moral about it and that real friends help each other. He also said I wouldn’t lose anything by just agreeing with him if she asked. I still refused and told him I didn’t want to be involved in something like that.
Now he’s been acting distant and told a couple of our mutual friends that I refused to help him when he needed it. Some of them said it’s not really my business and I could have just stayed quiet if his mom ever asked.
I feel like I did the right thing, but at the same time I’m wondering if I should have just stayed out of it and avoided the conflict.
AITA for refusing to lie for him?
NTA. It may not be any of your business, but adhering to your own morals definitely is.
NTA. This guy has revealed that he has low morals. He’s not good friend material. If he’d lie to his own mom to scam her, what’s to prevent him from lying to you? Back away from that friendship and from any of the people who think running a scam is no big deal.
Make sure this thief doesn’t have access to your things. Helping him steal from his mother would make you a thief as well..NTA.
NTA – Real friends respect boundaries.
NTA. If his mom can afford it, maybe he should go for his first lesson in adulthood and talk to her about why he needs spending money.
NTA. That doesn’t seem like the type of friend I’d want. He is making it your business by asking you to deceive his mother.
“He got annoyed and said I was being too moral about it and that real friends help each other.”
NTA. Real family doesn’t defraud eachother. He’s basically asking you to cover up a scam. It’s totally immoral, and possibly criminal. Don’t feel bad and tell these ah friends defending him you can find better people to hang out with if they think this type of thing is ok.
NTA. If he’d lie and steal from his own mother he will lie and steal from you too. Lose this “friend” asap before you become his next victim.
I’m definitely taking a step back and thinking more carefully about that friendship now
There is never anything wrong with taking the moral high ground.
NTA, you can’t stay out of it or mind your own business if your friend is literally recruiting you to be part of his scheme. You held your ground and did the right thing for sure.
Obviously shouldn’t lie.
I just find it pretty inconceivable though that YOUR friends MOTHER would ask YOU about HIS college fees. That’s not a very natural conversation topic. I could only imagine her asking that if she knew he was trying to scam her.
That motherfucker made it your business when he asked you to lie for him. NTA.
So this guy wants to scam his mother? Maybe he should sign up for Morals 101 and How Not to be a Dou***bag 201.
NTA. Lose this guy. His integrity sucks.