I’m really trying to figure out if I’m in the wrong here, but I don’t think I am. I’ve been playing the game recently online with a guy who was pretty cool for the past few days no real issue. We were running trios in a game with another girl, and it was chill vibes. I exchanged numbers so that way it will be easier for us to link what times we will be on to play together, but the messages started to become more about how I’m feeling throughout the day and it was kind of making me uncomfortable because I don’t text anyone this much more or less a guy. I’m really not interested in that way. I didn’t get on the game today because I really haven’t been feeling good all day and I haven’t been that responsive to his messages. He hit me at 3 AM to ask to FaceTime and ask how I was doing because I told him I wasn’t feeling well so why I wasn’t on the game. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable FaceTime’ing him because late night phone calls with men are kind of disrespectful when you are in a relationship in my opinion. I told him I would hit him up though tomorrow when I’m on the game so that way we could play and he threw a temper tantrum saying that my man was being insecure. Telling me how he’s just trying to be a good friend and all of this and I even told him I don’t think he’s a bad person. I just don’t know what we have to talk about at 4 AM that’s not involving the video game. Now he’s saying he would rather not play with me at all because he doesn’t want to make my man uncomfortable. AITA here for trying to set a boundary?
NTA he’s upset that you told him no. No guy who is just trying to be your friend tries to facetime at 4 am. I am a woman, and I game, with men. And it’s so easy to tell when they want more than just a gaming friend. I wouldn’t facetime any guy I was gaming with at 4 am. That is mad disrespectful to my boyfriend lol
Ok thank you for validating this for me. This is my very first online game that I’ve played so finding people to play with really was making me happy but now I kind of feel like I did something wrong when I know deep down I didn’t.
NTA
If you continue playing online, you’re going to have to get used to guys (not all guys) immediately being interested in more than gaming the moment they realize you’re a woman. Not all of them will react well to you putting up necessary boundaries. Some can be real assholes about it.
So I’d consider putting aliases in place and social media accounts you only use for gaming so that it’s easier to keep your private life private. I personally wouldn’t face-time at all with people I only met in online spaces.
nta. he’s being a pissy immature asshole. he clearly just wants to talk to you bc he wants to pressure you into soliciting something untoward. tf does he have the right to text you at 3am?? just ignore or block him bc this is not healthy behaviour and red flags allll around.
I just blocked him because he keeps sending me back-to-back messages explaining how he was just trying to be a cool person and I’m taking it the wrong way and how he’s gonna fall back. I feel like he’s trying to guilt trip me or something.
oh he totally is. he wants you to feel bad and backtrack bc he’s niiiice. he didn’t dooo anythiiiing. nah he’s a creep testing your boundaries to see what he can get away with. good on you for the block. hope you can now game in peace – also use an intermedium over just ur phone number next time. ie discord or some such. (also the fact he wanted you to FaceTime at fuck o’clock in the morning is red flag central) don’t let men bully you into stuff ur uncomfortable with!!
good job standing ur ground 💛
You owe him nothing. He wasn’t contacting you at 3am to be a nice guy. Nope. That was an attempt to get some video sex. Ex gamer here. Nothing good comes from late night calls from gamers.
NTA. That is strange behavior from someone you don’t know. And wanting to FaceTime at 3 am? That’s nuts.
It’s good that you set that boundary. And now the guy is guilting you by being pouty. Honestly, block the guy. He’s clearly a creep.
NTA he should respect your boundaries when you told him you were uncomfortable I’d advice finding someone else to play with if he keeps this up
Nta- him askin how you’re doing can be normal friend behavior, him texting at 3/4 am and wanting to FaceTime isn’t. Him getting upset that you told him no, isn’t normal friend behavior, especially since you’ve only played the game together a few days?
Wanna add, that you should be able to use friends of any gender without your bf getting insecure, but thats a different thing altogether. You still told him no, and regardless of the reason no is no.
Definitely nta…that’s really weird to fly off like that over you not wanting to FaceTime. You didn’t even say your boyfriend doesn’t like you, YOU said it was a boundary.
NTA. This guy is no good. Block him. Ignore him.
NTA. He’s being inappropriate and acting like there’s more than just a gaming friendship going on because that’s what he wants to have happen. You owe him nothing.
If you don’t feel good you should be trying to sleep at 3 AM. Not being bugged by someone you barely know trying to FaceTime you.
Calling your significant other insecure when you’re the one who set boundaries, and a very reasonable normal boundary at that, is him trying to manipulate you.
I would block him everywhere possible and move on. Maybe worn the other friend in your group that she might want to do the same
When someone you don’t know well texts you at 3am for a FT, whether or not you’re in a relationship the correct response is to ignore the text.
Clearly this person is trying to get some vicarious thrill out of getting you on the phone in hopes you will take your clothes off. Maybe the place to make friends is not in this game??
ETA: NTA