I have hip dips and I usually feel more comfortable wearing low-rise or mid-rise pants. High-rise pants that go over my stomach feel really uncomfortable to me, especially when sitting.
My mom keeps telling me I have to wear high-rise pants because she says low- or mid-rise makes my stomach “look worse.” She says high-rise looks better and smoother, but to me it just feels tight and annoying to wear all day.
I tried explaining that the lower-rise ones are just more comfortable for me and that a lot of people wear them anyway, but she kept insisting that high-rise is what I should wear.
At one point I got frustrated, went to my room, and slammed my bedroom door and locked it. She then yelled at me for slamming the door.
So now I’m wondering if I handled it badly. AITA for wanting to wear the pants that are actually comfortable for me instead of the style my mom thinks looks better, and for reacting like that when we argued?
NTA, she shouldn’t be policing what you wear based off body shaming you
NTA and good on you for not allowing her to body shame you! She can feel however she wants about her own pants but she doesn’t get to dictate which ones you wear. The obvious exceptions being things like seeing your underwear or exposed butt lol.
NTA. You’re not her doll that she can dress and control, you’re a person with free will and desires of your own. Don’t feel bad that you won’t let her control you. Kids grow up, and make their own decisions, even when their parents disagree, so she literally signed up for this when she decided to have you.
NTA. Wear what you want and your mom TA for the subtle shaming she was trying to do to you.
Side note… And I’ll get downvoted to oblivion for saying this… But high rise never “looks good.” I’m sure it’s comfortable and fits some women the way they want. But it only works for “the mom look.”
>But high rise never “looks good.”
High rise does look good, but on one specific body type that the majority of people do not have
I think “looks good” is also dependent on how other styles look. I have a body type with a built-in muffin top. High rise hides this, and they look best on me. I might look like a mom, but that’s pretty good compared to looking like a stuffed sausage, even in pants that fit, lol.
Your stomach is her insecurity not yours. Tell her “Stop trying to make me hate myself.” You love yourself and you refuse to let your mom make you hate yourself. NTA.
NTA I do think low rise look bad on every women no matter their size or shape but that’s my irrelevant opinion. It’s your body and you need to feel comfortable in it. Also hip dips are due to your bones and not anything weight related, that is just a neutral anatomical structure that is more or less prominent, regardless of weight or fitness. Pretty mean of your mum to even comment on that. I mean if it was a concern of yours and you asked her for an opinion and she would tell you, high rise hides them, that would be different but the way she said it was insulting. Personally I like wearing skirts more, they are more comfortable and would also cover any hip anatomic variation. Also even if you wear high rise jeans, they would have to have a good structure and fabric to look good, leggings for example make them even more visible.
Classic mom getting mad at you for reacting negatively to her insulting your appearance. NTA obviously, her telling you something makes you “look worse” is literally just her saying you always look kind of bad.
Also idk what their new obsession with highrises is, as if it magically erases any belly fat. I did usually wear highrises back in 2016 and back then my mom told me it makes me look like Obelix. Theres no winning here, i’m sorry.
NTA
I have hip dips and I feel the most comfortable wearing high rise pants. So I wear high rise pants, because that’s what makes ME comfortable. It also doesn’t mean I don’t look good in low rise or mid rise, I just don’t like how they feel.
If you like them fuck what anyone else has to say about it. Plus your in luck cause they’ve come back into fashion and are more readily available
ESH – She should not be policing what types of clothing you feel comfortable in, but storming off and slamming the door is essentially a temper tantrum, which is always a bad look.
Granted, I don’t know how old you are and it can be super frustrating when people aren’t listening to you, but just straight up telling her, “I don’t care what you think looks better, I want clothing that is comfortable, otherwise I won’t wear it.” is much more effective than a temper tantrum. Working to identify and regulate your emotional responses to unsolicited comments will take you far in life.
Personally, I have prominent hip and pelvic bones and I despise how low rise jeans feel, especially when trying to sit or actually *do* anything, but I also haven’t worn low-rise jeans since they were *LOW* in the early 2000’s.
I have no idea what a “hip dip” is, but wear the clothes you want to wear.
NTA
When your body kinda cuts in below your hip bone and over your thigh. Just another curve to the body that nobody should be shamed for.
So your mom spent all morning body shaming you and now she’s mad that you’re upset?