Today our a frat had a darty and I (21M) got heated at someone (20F) after using my bathroom with another girl and she came out and there was a used tampon on my floor. I immediately texted her and basically said why tf would you do that and it’s disrespectful as there’s literally a trash can in our bathroom. She acted super confused and said that it wasn’t them and I just said she was playing dumb. She tried calling me and offering to come clean it up but I just ignored and left the message on opened. I kinda feel I may have overreacted a bit. I don’t know her too well but we met a few weeks ago and she seems to come up to me a lot to talk at parties and asked me to get food with her and her friend prior to this incident so I feel kinda guilty if I made her feel bad. But I also feel pretty justified in my reaction. I can see why I might be the asshole because I jumped to conclusions and was confrontational but I don’t see how I could’ve acted differently given the circumstances.
Am I the asshole?
How do you know it was their tampon? Were they the only women at the party? It could have already been on the floor when they went in there.
Are you sure it was her used tampon? No other woman used that bathroom?
INFO – Would it have been possible for them not to have seen it if it wasn’t theirs? Do you KNOW it was one of theirs?
For all you know, she or another woman put it in the trash and a drunk frat boy took it out of the can and threw it on the floor as a joke.
Yta
You jumped to major conclusions here. I would’ve asked her about it before confronting her. Even asking something along the lines, “when you were in the bathroom, did you notice this tampon? Do you have any idea who could’ve left it?”
welcome to hosting frat parties? 😂 I mean agreed, yes that’s gross and should have been cleaned up. but also…this is the first i’ve ever heard of a whole frat party happening and then 1 person getting called out for a mess, when that’s literally the expectation when hosting a party, let alone a frat house party. and THENA ignored her when she tried to make it right, despite it not being hers. it seems clear she was into you but I wouldnt bank on that anymore.
Even if it was hers. It definitely wasn’t done on purpose. Your reaction was way over the top.
Even my MIL has accidentally left her tampon wrapped in tissue on the side before. It’s never something done on purpose. It’s something that happens because your uncomfortable, your mind is full of 101 other thoughts, as well as changing, cleaning yourself, washing hands and it’s something that can happen absent mindedly. Your reaction was really not needed. YTA
You’re the AH. You way overreacted to the incident. You should apologize.
You don’t know for sure who it was, immature overreaction. Honest question. If someone had peed on the floor, would you have accused someone of doing it and embarrassed them, or would you have cleaned it up?
It’s no grosser than any other bodily function.
YTA for making such a huge deal over what was some sort of error, no girl leaves her used tampons around on purpose. You have succeeded in making her uncomfortable, even ashamed and bullied over a natural function .
You sound like you have issues around menstruation , it’s not the plague you know!. l wonder if you would have got your knickers in such a knot had it been a bandage from one of the guys…
YTA. ” I don’t see how I could’ve acted differently given the circumstances” – well that’s a personal issue you need to reflect on…
YTA. I think the better option would to have been not inviting her to any more parties. Bless her for offering to come pick it up. I don’t think it was on purpose, but there’s also people that don’t make those mistakes so just move on and don’t be rude.
unless she did it maliciously, you were way over the top. My suggestion is to take a chill pill, and give the benefit of the doubt unless they have proven otherwise to you. Which based on the information in your story she hasn’t. You need to learn some discipline with your responses when your emotional.
Acting like that to the wrong person will not end well for you. And if you think you can get away with it, because of who you’re talking to, I suggest you quit it, because they probably know someone who might just teach you some manners like your parents should have.
YTA chances are some drunk frat boy took it from the bin. If she was acting confused and not a hit of embarrassment it’s likely it wasn’t even her tampon