So this morning, my dad asked me (20s M) to wash his car, including floor mats and all. I go through the automated wash and then park, remove my mats, vacuum the car, dust the dash, and then I head over to the designated mat washing area that also includes a pressure washing hose.
I then pour a few dots of dish soap on my mats, pick up the sprayer and get to work on cleaning them. Then this lady (50s F) parks in a spot about 10 feet away and then she starts complaining that I’m causing her vehicle to get water spots with the hose, and she’s also uncomfortable with dish soap being used at the car wash. She then calls me a motherfucker and then tells me because I’m so young I must be clueless about chemicals and their effects on cars.
I then ignore her and keep working on what I’m doing because I don’t like to step on people’s toes. And I also had kind of a tight deadline because I had elsewhere to be and had to go home for my own car and return this one to my father.
She then went and got a manager of the car wash to complain about my conduct of another guest. Manager watched the tape and then told her in polite terms to fuck off and that I’m minding my own business so she could as well. He even offered to let her go through the wash a second time to get her to shut up.
The manager of the car wash then contacted my father since his name is on the membership to apologize for the incident. My dad was like “what incident?” and then after getting off the phone marched down to my room and said “Dude what the hell happened? You were just supposed to wash the car, not have a confrontation with another customer?” and I told him there was no confrontation because I didn’t allow her to confront me. He said that’s not how that works.
NTA
Manager defended you, but dad is mad???
Did he listen?
That’s kinda what I thought in the end too
NTA. Some people just need to be told to fuck off.
NTA
Dad is mad about nothing.
NTA. Dad should have congratulates you for your wonderful self control while being harassed. You are ok!
NTA Your father is just an asshole who assumes bad things about you.
Literally the manager called him to apologize to you, does your dad suck or is this just a misunderstanding? Obviously Nta.
NTA the manager took your side and dad is mad because someone came up to you with a ridiculous complaint? You didn’t confront anyone, she approached you and you can’t control that.
“Ma’am with all due respect I’m minding my business. You parked here seeing me washing my mats. I’m gonna keep minding my business and advise you to do the same. If you do not…I will assume you wish to also be power washed. I do charge for the service.”
NTA getting yelled at by a stranger for washing floor mats at a car wash isn’t exactly starting a confrontation.
NTA… I had parents that didn’t like anyone drawing attention to us ever, even if it wasn’t our fault…
Of course you’re NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you didn’t start the fight. Your dad is jumping to completely wrong conclusions.
But this bit is extremely weird:
*The manager of the car wash then contacted my father since his name is on the membership to apologize for the incident.*
Why did the manager do that?
This incident was between you, the woman, and the manager. Your father wasn’t even there. If any apology from management was required, it could have and should have been directed to YOU, because you were the person affected by the woman’s actions.
There might – MIGHT! – be some justification for calling your father if you had been a minor, and the manager was concerned about your wellbeing, e.g. maybe thought you were traumatized by the confrontation.
But you are in your twenties. You’re a big boy. You give no indication in your post that this incident distressed you in the slightest. You didn’t need anyone to call Daddy for you and get him involved.
So I’m finding that part of the story incomprehensible, and frankly I’d be saying to the manager “Why did you feel the need to call my dad, when he wasn’t even there?” I’d really like to hear the manager try to justify it.
**UPDATE**: It has been pointed out to me that the manager probably just wanted to formally apologize, and to do so, he used the only contact number he had – which was the dad’s.
Frankly I think phoning to formally apologize was making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill. (Although that doesn’t make the manager the asshole. The dad is definitely the asshole.)
Why not just resolve it on the spot?
OP said he was on a deadline, but he was definitely on the scene long enough to hear the outcome, or he wouldn’t have been able to tell us how the confrontation ended. He was there long enough to know that the manager watched the video, saw that OP did nothing wrong, offered the woman a free wash, and politely told her to fuck off.
That means OP was on the scene long enough for the manager to tell him “I’m sorry you were treated like that by another customer. You did nothing wrong, and we don’t like to see our customers made uncomfortable by anyone when they use our service. I’m going to credit your membership with a couple of free washes to make up for it. Cheers.” And that would have been the end of it.
OP could then have gone home and told his dad they got a couple of freebies. If he wanted to, he could tell his dad why (which would have meant OP could tell the story in his own way – the person who gets in first always has the advantage), or he needn’t explain it at all if he thought his dad was the type to get unreasonably angry. Businesses give out freebies for all sorts of reasons. It wouldn’t require any explanation.
Note that I don’t actually know whether the manager DID give OP any freebies. But I think he would have been willing to, given he offered this rude woman a freebie. OP deserves the same at least, and I would have offered it to him, if I’d been the manager. Treat customers well, and most will be loyal in return.
You’re dad sounds like an asshole, IMO. Asks for a favor then chews you out afterwards? Tell him to wash his car from now on.
WTF is wrong with people? Being alive is so damn exhausting lately. This woman was the asshole, not you.