I am a ‘29F’ and bf ‘37M’ together for 2 1/2 yrs
So, a month ago I had a C Section, and my bf didn’t get time off of work so it’s just been me and the baby 24/7 other than the weekend Friday and Saturday he will take the nights. First, I love spending time with my baby, but I also need help sometimes and to take care of myself. In a few days, he will be going out of the country to visit his family. He does this every year. He took a month PTO to go visit them. I think that’s great and all, when you don’t have a newborn baby. You’d think he would have used some of that time when I had the baby? Stayed with me for a week, or half of that time? I’m not even cleared from my C-Section yet. Not to mention, a week after giving birth he took in a family to help (they just came to the US and got their green cards). He’s spent so much money and time helping this family. It’s nice that he has that heart but the timing of everything is terrible and he has put us second. I’m so disappointed in him and honestly it’s made me very unattracted and uninterested in him. I want to be with a man who can put the family that he created first. It’s like, although he very giving, he’s very selfish when it comes to me and the baby. Am I being dramatic/complaining?
Did you communicate this with him at all?
Yes I did.
How did that conversation go?
Seems like you didn’t want to be alone with the baby, and needed help.
It honestly shouldn’t be anybody’s job to communicate to a new father that his child is his responsibility. If this story is real he is a completely repulsive waste of space.
Not overreacting. He doesn’t care about you, time to cheat on him
Lol
Won’t have to cheat, I’m about ready to leave!
The fact that he is just going on vacation as normal for a month out of the country when he has a 4 week old at home is insane. Maybe change the locks.
You are not kookoo, he needs to stop being a moron and realize he is a daddy now and needs to step up to his responsibility…. he seems to be good with his family so why is he flaking off his duties to you and your baby you both made?
I mean is he stupid? You got a c section and he didn’t take time off work but is taking a month of time off to go traipsing to see family?
Sit him down and tell him to step up and stop being a deadbeat to you or you will leave, from what you wrote here you are doing it mostly all alone anyways….tell him he is neglecting his duties as a husband AND a father to be overly helpful to other family members…make him understand his priorities are wrong and need to change. Helping the rest of his family should come after making sure you and his baby are fine and only if he can do so without neglecting the both of you which is what he is doing.
Assuming this isn’t rage bait (because if true, this is absolutely disgusting behaviour) it seems obvious that your boyfriend has priorities and you (and the baby) aren’t at the top.
There’s no excuses, there’s nothing he can say to make this better, I don’t know how he can justify this. I mean, aren’t his family saying “what about your month old baby?”….?? Use the time that he’s away to get yourself out of there.
4 weeks holiday while you are recovering from a C-section with a newborn? He does not care. I am so sorry you are experiencing this.
He’s telling you loud and clear that he doesn’t care about your or your baby. Go home to your parents for support recovering and getting back on your feet. Let him come home to a dusty, empty house with divorce papers on the kitchen table. This has to be a deal breaker or he’ll keep treating you both like crap.
You are not this man’s priority and you should be. Why would you want to stay with him? Your feelings are very valid. He’s not stepping up for you or your baby.