I’m doing my freshman year in a sorority with a random roommate. We got randomly assigned together and it seemed fine at first- she was quiet and clean. Then she started having her boyfriend over every week, then every single night. Almost every single night he rolls in at nine, they watch Netflix or TikTok, laugh at stupid shit, fuck with zero shame, I literally hear everything. Everything. They stay till 3 AM or literally just stay the night. I have classes at 7 AM so I need to study and sleep.
I asked her twice super nice if we could switch that to weekends only. She said yeah, then did nothing. It has turned back into an every day situation and he was even here last night till 2 AM, watching beast games. I eventually lost on her and told her that I can’t keep doing this because it’s my space too. She ended up getting really mad called me jealous and said I’m controlling. I know that she’s posting about me on Snapchat so I frel like shit. What do I do? Am I the asshole?
Nta,her loud sex is highly disruptive, and you told her such, and she flat out ignored you and your needs,wants,and desires related to your sleeping and studying habits.
NTA, she is extremely inconsiderate. If she doesn’t change, I would suggest changing rooms.
NTA – but your sorority allows boys in the rooms? This should not be happening. You have literally no privacy and some random boy has access to you in your sleep. Have you talked to anyone at the school or your parents?
NTA is their a sorority authority figure to complain to?
NTA If course it’s your space too. She should move in with him if she loves him that much. Some people have no sense of boundaries…
NTA…she’s just being inconsiderate and immature. There must be rules about this sort of thing.
NTA is she even allowed to have someone over every night like that? Can you talk to the people in charge of your housing? You did not agree to a 3rd roommate let alone a male one and they are disrupting your sleep/school.
Yeah most schools have rules about non-residents being there past a certain time on weekdays. At mine you couldn’t have visitors past 11pm on weekdays. You also had to get approval from your roommate for any overnight visitors and there was a 3 night limit for overnight guests
NTA. When I was in a sorority, we had a house mom who enforced the rules, and we also had rules that men had to be kicked out after a certain hour and were only allowed in the public areas of the house. Does your sorority not have either of those rules? It’s time to get some enforcement if there is.
I’d probably talk about reassignment to another room, or start yelling and screaming while they’re fucking to get the fuck out of the room and find a private place to do it. I’m totally willing to be an AH to an AH.
it’s not about you being “jealous”. She’s being inconsiderate, and frankly, you’re being subjected to sexual violence. You have not consented to being subjected to their sex lives. If she wants to fuck her boyfriend, they need a private room to go do that.
yeah NTA also do not feel bad about dragging the RA into this since it’s a violation of the rules and you could also be on the hook for it.
NTA.
I used to be an RA – do you have an RA you can go and talk to? They will have seen this issue before and dhould be able to help mediate this conflict. As far as I know, RAs can’t enforce rules – but they can help mediate and perhaps there are some guidelines for this kind of thing.
I used to live in a similar situation and we’d have boyfriends over occasionally, but only on the weekend and quietly – no hanky panky. It was generally after we’d been out and came home to crash.
Your other option is to tough it out until the end of the semester and request a change. Again, going to an RA now will help with this.
Sorry you’re in this situation – sounds like an absolute nightmare.
NTA. Go to your RA or whatever the sorority equivalent is and get them involved. This is completely unfair to you.
It would be public humiliation time for me….😤
If it’s disrupting you that much, which it clearly is (and she is clearly the AH here), you need to go to an RA or housing supervisor to either mediate and put a formal agreement in place, or switch rooms. I dealt with a similar situation, and once it got to the point where it seems you have gotten, I straight up switched rooms without telling her. It’s time-consuming and annoying, especially when the situation is not your fault, but my mental health improved drastically and life was much less stressful. College is stressful enough.
Another option is, depending on your school’s rules regarding visitors, letting an RA/housing supervisor/whoever that she is violating those rules (if the boyfriend being over every night is, which would have been the case at my school, as well as most other schools I knew people at).