So I (23M) have been trying to lose weight over the past couple of months. I gained a lot of weight over a few years of being careless with my food and that honestly messed with my confidence a lot. I finally decided to start going to a gym nearby pretty regularly and trying to change my diet gradually. It’s not like a huge transformation yet or anything, but it’s something I’m actually putting effort into.
The problem is my girlfriend (22F) keeps making jokes about it, especially when we’re around other people. At first it was small comments but lately it’s been pretty constant. Stuff like grabbing my stomach and saying I’m saving it for winter or telling people I’m “on a fitness arc” in this sarcastic tone. The thing is, I already told her a few times that it actually bothers me, but time she just says she’s kidding and that I need to lighten up.
Last night we were out with a group of friends getting food and it happened again. Someone asked if we wanted to split appetizers and she goes “maybe not, he’s supposed to be on a diet.” Everyone laughed and I just kind of sat there feeling like an idiot.
Later in the night she made another comment about how my “gym era” was probably going to last two weeks. At that point I was honestly just fed up, and I said something along the lines of, “it’s kinda funny you keep going after my weight when you made me promise to never tell anyone about your panic attacks.” In retrospect I can how this is a fight fire with fire situation, but I honestly in the moment just wanted to at least give her an idea of how what she does makes me feel, given that my talks in private multiple times seems to go in one year and out the other.
Things got really quiet after that and she was clearly embarrassed. On the way home she told me I humiliated her in front of everyone and that I made her look like a bad person.
Now she’s rarely talking to me, and on top of that a couple of our friends said I could’ve handled it better.
AITA?
This may sound harsh, but you need to leave her now. She is emotionally abusive. She is intentionally trying to hurt you and make you insecure, she does not care about you
Soo she FA and is now FO. NTA if she can’t take it she should keep her mouth shut.
NTA Her making fun of your weight is abuse. She got what she deserved.
She is making joke on your physique
Now you have to tell her a joke by breaking up with her
NTA, you told her privately that her comments bother you and she ignored you and kept doing it. She’s not funny, she isn’t joking.
SHE is the one that made herself look like a bad person.
She is probably very insecure and worries that your getting healthier and more comment means you will dump her. And TBH that sounds like a great way to lose about 150 pounds quickly, LOL.
She’s a mean girl and an insecure one at that. Maybe she’s afraid that once you get in better shape that you’ll dump her like she deserves.
ESH and I feel sorry for your friends who likely felt awkward being in the middle of a couple’s passive aggressive fight. Obviously your GF is an AH for bringing up your weight loss against your approval, but you’re also an AH for stooping below her level and weaponizing a medical condition in a group setting. Do yourselves a favor and break up.
NTA – she was bullying you over a life improvement and got slapped back. Thing is this, do you want to be in a relationship where you both are scoring points off each other? Doesn’t sound very fun to me.
NTA, she’s abusive.
NTA.
She is being a bully. She’s not supportive either. And the second she got a taste of her own medicine, she hated it. Let it sink in for her, spend time apart if you need to. But do not let this go. You can apologize for fighting fire with fire, but that’s it. She really needs to get with it.
nta
You’ve told her that her comments hurt you and she has actively chosen to continue engaging in behaviour that she knows will hurt you.
She’s either genuinely stupid and insensitive or she’s an abuser. Undermining your self esteem could be a way of grooming you for future abuse
Does her friend group make these kind of insensitive jokes to each other, or are you being singled out? Does she often make comments that make you feel self doubt?
Ignoring you for days is a red flag for abuse. It’s meant to make you forget why you were justifiably angry, and just feel desperate to fix things.
I know reddit always tells people to just leave over the most ridiculous things, but this is seriously concerning behaviour, and I do think you should cut this abuser off ASAP
Hell nah, NTA. She sounds jealous that youre making positive changes in your life. Which is super weird behavior. She FA and FO. I hope you continue making these amazing changes for yourself, and drop the dead weight.
NTA and anyone who says ESH or YTA would absolutely not have that opinion if genders were reversed and the issues were the same.
She’s fat shaming you publicly, as your girlfriend, while you’re working on fixing your weight.
She’s toxic as hell and I’d seriously reconsider dating her if I were you. People who tear you down for improving yourself are the worst types of people.